|  Author | Topic: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *01/05/10* (Read 2,250 times) |
blondemd77
Tolkien
member is offline
![[avatar]](http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r45/gdssofwine/Maroon%205%20GMA/Adameyesex.jpg)
"Lovely doctor!"
![[aim]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/aim.gif)
Joined: Nov 2007
Gender: Female 
Posts: 1,658
Location: New York
|  | Re: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *10/30/09*
« Reply #60 on Nov 3, 2009, 7:58am » | |
hey guys. like i told Laura, i apologize in advance for the plot similarities to TLA , but Sean is such a complex villian that this was the only thing that really 'fit'. anything else would have seemed silly and far-fetched.
this is just a short chapter which was supposed to be part of last week's but it wasn't finished in time. thanks again for your continued support. 
Chapter 61
Chris had been keeping tabs on Payton from the moment she walked in the door, waiting for his chance to get her alone. He knew it was going to be difficult with all the guys milling around, each one more excited to see her again than the last, but after an hour had passed and not one opportunity had presented itself, he could feel his patience start to run thin.
He had somehow let Henrik cajole him into joining the poker game, figuring it would be a convenient distraction while he bid his time. But his head just wasn’t in it, and he was losing his money at an alarming speed.
Sighing aloud, he folded yet another shitty hand and sat back, taking a sip of his drink while the round finished. Throwing his hundredth casual glance around the room in search of Payton, he froze when he saw her having what appeared to be an intimate conversation with Sean at the bar. His heart caught in his throat and his drink slipped from his grasp, spilling over onto his lap and crashing to the floor.
Oblivious to the mess he had made as well as to the curious stares of the rest of the men sitting around the table, he sprang up, unwilling to let their interaction continue any longer. At the same time, however, they separated, with Sean ambling towards their poker table and Payton making a beeline for the door.
Chris hesitated for the briefest of seconds as he debated whether to confront Sean or go after Payton instead. His concern for Payton outweighed his irrational desire to flatten Sean’s face, so as he pushed his way through the quagmire of a crowd, he clenched his fists at his sides and did his best to ignore the smug grin which Sean flashed him as he passed. Eventually he reached the door, storming outside into the night. He frantically glanced both ways up and down the street until he saw her half a block away headed for the subway. “PAY!!” he shouted after her and broke into a run. Either she didn’t hear him or was choosing to ignore him because she continued walking. When he grew closer, he called her name again, but she still refused to stop, so he grabbed her waist to physically restrain her.
Payton let out a small startled scream and blindly resisted him, squirming desperately to free herself. Yet she was no match for Chris and he succeeded in smothering her blows. Turning her body around to face him, he placed both hands on her arms and spoke in a hurried but soothing voice in an attempt to placate her, well-aware of the suspicious stares of passing pedestrians. “Pay. Shhh. It’s just me. It’s okay. It’s just me.”
Payton blinked and her foggy vision slowly refocused to see Chris standing there in front of her. And as her frantic heart began to return to a somewhat normal pace, she realized in relief that the voice which had pursued her hadn’t been Sean’s. Nor had the strong, muscular arms which had captured her waist.
“Chris,” she whispered, her voice a mixture of relief and longing.
“It’s just me, Pay,” he repeated again as he brushed her hair away, gently cupping her face with his hands. It had been so long since he had touched her that the softness of her skin made his fingers tingle. “It’s okay. You’re okay,” he murmured soothingly. His eyes searched hers and he saw a whirlwind of fear and panic within their guarded shadows. “What happened back there with Avery? Why did you run out like that?”
At the mention of Sean, Payton shuddered again and fought back the threatening tears which were pooling behind her eyes.
She refused to cry.
She couldn’t cry.
She couldn’t show Chris how terrified she really was because she knew, without a doubt, that he’d run to her rescue. And her conscience wouldn’t allow her to drag him into this mess once again.
“Nothing,” she muttered, suspiciously averting her gaze from the power those blue eyes still held over her.
“Look at me,” Chris demanded fiercely. He was still grasping her face and firmly yanked it back upwards. “What happened?”
Choking back a cry from his unexpected roughness, Payton spitefully shoved him away and continued towards the subway.
Chris cursed under his breath and followed after her, the cold stinging his face and turning his extremities numb. He was all too aware of his wet pants, which only aided in dropping his core body temperature even lower. “Payton, goddammit will you just stop for a second!?” He grabbed her arm once again, this time wrapping his fingers around it so tightly she couldn’t possibly escape.
“Stop it, Chris! You’re hurting me!” She spun angrily on her heels with her free arm outstretched and raised, ready to physically defend herself if she had to. But it was then that she noticed he was shivering without a coat and his lips were turning blue, and her anger was momentarily mollified as her heart went out to him. “Chris, please. Go back inside. It’s freezing.”
He studied her for the longest time without saying a word as he struggled to understand. “Why are you running from me?”
“I’m heading home. It’s late and I have a long day tomorrow.”
“I saw you talking with Sean. Did he threaten you?”
“Of course not. We were just discussing the game.” She was disturbed by how quickly the lie materialized and it sickened her knowing that with it, she was protecting Sean.
Chris’ eyes narrowed, glinting angrily. “Bullshit. Don’t lie to me, Payton.”
Payton flinched at his tone and took advantage of his slackened grip on her arm to swipe it out of his grasp, her anger resurfacing once again. “Is that all you have to say to me, Chris? After a week of hearing nothing from you, that’s all you’ve got?” The tears finally poured forth from her eyes, but at least she wasn’t crying over Sean.
Her accusation caught Chris off guard. The manic expression on his face softened as his priorities rearranged themselves and the bigger picture fell into perspective once again. He was getting too worked up over Sean when what he really needed to do was rectify a week’s worth of mistakes and reconcile with the woman he loved.
“Pay...” His voice trailed off apologetically as he couldn’t quite grasp everything he had been waiting to say to her.
An ‘I’m sorry’ is always a good place to start.
Scott’s advice ricocheted in his head like a rogue puck off the glass.
Payton watched him floundering under the pressure and her heart began to break all over again. After everything they’d been through, why was it still so difficult for him to freely express his emotions?
“Stop trying to be the hero all the time, Chris,” she spat in disgust. “You’re only human and you’re flawed. Majorly. And I don’t need your protection.”
I need your love, dammit. Because flaws and all, I love you so much it hurts.
She bit back the words she couldn’t say and forced herself to walk away. It was only then that she heard him call after her desperately, finally having found his tongue.
“Payton! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”
She paused, turning to look back at him, as Sean’s ultimatum weighed heavy on her mind.
“Me too,” she said sadly, knowing deep down that she was apologizing not only for past but for what would undoubtedly be future mistakes.
Then she hurried off, the cold wind stinging the tears which continued their journey down her cheeks.
|
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies.....its compromise that moves us along" ~~She Will Be Loved.....Maroon 5~~
"I started this season much to Simon's chagrin as the 'word nerd' and I am absolutely at a loss for words right now" ~~David Cook~~
"What am I--Kermit the Frog?" ~~Josh Groban~~ |
|
blondemd77
Tolkien
member is offline
"Lovely doctor!"
Joined: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,658
Location: New York
| | Re: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *11/03/09*
« Reply #61 on Nov 6, 2009, 8:06am » | |
just a short stepping-stone chapter. im sure the posting police (**cough Laura cough**) wont approve of the length, but i promise I'll make it up to you guys
enjoy the weekend!
Chapter 62
“That little shit!!!!” Jenny’s angry voice blared over Payton’s phone. “He’s blackmailing you!”
“You think?” Payton asked wryly, pacing back and forth across the lobby of the hospital as she talked. One of her patients had undergone knee surgery that morning, and she had walked over on her lunch break to check in. She had also used it as a convenient excuse to escape from Shane. The team had an off day without a scheduled practice, so he had reported to clinic for lack of anything better to do, and his incessant gushing over how much he was enjoying his new assignment had quickly irritated her still very friable nerves. Plus, she couldn’t help the grudge she had immediately developed towards him, just knowing that he was the ammunition behind Sean’s blackmail. In a way she knew it was unfair, and she had briefly harbored the possibility of actually confiding in him regarding her relationship with Chris in order to negate Sean’s threat altogether. But as soon as she thought of Shane’s competitiveness and that dark side which lurked within him, she chided herself for her own naivety and knew it wasn’t a feasible option.
Jenny was still rambling frantically when Payton returned her attention to the conversation at hand. “Pay, you’ve GOT to go back to John, Glen, anyone in the organization and let them know what’s going on! He’s on probation, dammit! He can’t get away with this!!!!”
Payton chuckled at the absurdity, wishing it was that easy. “C’mon, be realistic. You’ve seen the way he’s been playing as of late. He’ll be too valuable to the team come playoff time. They’re not going to discipline or release him just because he’s blackmailing me! Why should they care? I don’t even work for them anymore!”
Jenny fell silent and Payton knew she had seen the frustratingly hopeless light.
“What if you told Chris?” she asked quietly after a moment.
“No. I’m not getting him involved again, Jen. Once was enough.”
“You’re right,” she agreed begrudgingly. “He can get into all kinds of trouble......” Her voice trailed off again as the wheels in her head continued to scheme. “I think you should just call his bluff. Don’t give in. See if he goes to Shane. And if he does, I’m sure you can convince Shane not to blow your cover.”
“How? By sleeping with him, then!? We both know he’s not the kind of the guy who’d do a favor for someone without getting anything in return. I just can’t risk him going to our director. I played with fire once and it was more than enough.”
“Then it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind,” Jenny snapped impatiently. “Why did you even bother to call me?”
Payton hesitated before confessing quietly, “I.....was hoping you’d talk me out of it.”
Jenny’s grip tightened on the phone and her heart grew cold. “My God, Pay, you can’t. Wasn’t once enough? How could you, in your right mind, be willing to voluntarily put yourself in that situation all over again? Especially knowing just what he’s capable of!”
“I don’t have a choice,” Payton said flatly.
Jenny was chilled by the apathy in her voice. “There’s always a choice.”
Not this time.
Payton choked back the cold, hard truth, on the verge of tears.
Jenny didn’t understand. Why did she even expect her to?
And Chris certainly wouldn’t either.
If she went through with this and gave in to Sean, she’d have to accept the fact that it would be over between them.
For good.
That is, if they weren’t already over after she so stubbornly walked away from him last night.
“I have to get back to work,” she announced, struggling to keep control of her voice as she tried to force the image of a shivering, apologizing Chris from her mind. “I’ll call you later.”
And before Jenny could protest, Payton hung up the phone and collapsed into an armchair in the corner of the lobby where she broke into tears as the enormity of her situation sank in once again.
How did she get so entangled in such a dangerous web?
She thought her problems had ended with her quiet release from the rotation.
Yet now it seemed a whole new slew of them had reappeared overnight.
Closing her eyes, all she could see was Chris. She had wanted more than anything to throw herself into his arms right then and there on the street last night and allow him to hold her, comfort her and promise her everything was going to be alright.
He had even apologized.
Which meant he wasn’t angry after all.
And he still loved her.
She choked back a sob at the thought.
She hadn’t been able tell him the truth about Sean’s blackmail threats because she couldn’t allow him fight her battles for her anymore. This wasn’t his problem. And to complicate matters, Sean was his teammate now. Their last fight had at least been somewhat justified. But another one would be considered a disgrace.
And he’d without a doubt be stripped of his captaincy as a result.
She pondered Jenny’s suggestion about possibly contacting Jim to let him know what Sean was up to. But the bottom line was that John and Sean were obviously in cahoots, so no good would come out of that, even with Jim on her side.
Any course of action seemed to be a dead end.
Could she live with herself more after giving in to Sean or knowing she had voluntarily thrown her career away?
Neither were options she wanted to entertain.
And the worst part of it all was that there was no guarantee Sean would even withhold his part of the bargain if she succumbed to his blackmail.
So no matter how she looked at it, she was screwed.
The tears began to fall harder and she couldn’t figure out just where she had gone wrong or what she had done to deserve such a cruel fate. And for the very first time, she wished she hadn’t worked so hard to earn the coveted spot in the training program, because her life had been one big roller coaster ride ever since she began in October. She’d made new friends as well as enemies, fallen in love, broken hearts, and had come dangerously close to destroying her career by getting fired.
Which was why she’d be damned if she risked it all again.
Reaching for her bag, she fished through it until she found the crumpled napkin.
Between her tear-filled vision and her trembling fingers, it took her three attempts before she finally succeeded in dialing the correct number.
|
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies.....its compromise that moves us along" ~~She Will Be Loved.....Maroon 5~~
"I started this season much to Simon's chagrin as the 'word nerd' and I am absolutely at a loss for words right now" ~~David Cook~~
"What am I--Kermit the Frog?" ~~Josh Groban~~ |
|
blondemd77
Tolkien
member is offline
"Lovely doctor!"
Joined: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,658
Location: New York
| | Re: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *11/06/09*
« Reply #62 on Dec 1, 2009, 8:43am » | |
wow. it's been almost a month since my last post. sorry for the wait, guys. i haven't had much time to devote to writing, plus i had NO idea how i wanted to end the story. but i think i've finally made a choice and hopefully i'll stick with it 
Chapter 63
Payton got off the subway at Bleecker Street in Greenwich Village, one of her favorite spots in Manhattan. It was quite the eclectic neighborhood, with its mix of university students, homosexuals, musicians and artists, and even though it was a weeknight, the streets were alive and pulsing with energy. Yet tonight, sadly, she took no notice of, nor enjoyment, from her surroundings as she stumbled in a daze the few blocks towards her destination.
Turning down Houston Street, she paused in front of number 113, an ordinary, unimpressive looking building with only five floors. A jazz club was located across the street whose loud music was reverberating all the way down the block. Payton could hear the happy sounds of reveling within and envied those carefree patrons for the briefest of moments before willing her legs, which had transformed into the consistency of jello, to climb the outside steps. Pausing in the hallway, she leaned against the wall of mailboxes and closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths and trying to thwart the panic attack which was threatening to take over.
You don’t have to do this, reminded the familiar voice in her head which had been lecturing her relentlessly all day.
Yes I do. There’s no other way.
Choking back the urge to cry at the futility of her situation and ignoring the attractive option of bolting back out the door and running as far as her legs would carry her, she pushed the elevator button and entered the small, creaky car once it opened on the lobby. It whined and groaned all the way to the top floor where the doors opened once again. Her feet remained rooted to the dingy floor in both fear and indecision until the doors began to close and she had no choice but to step out at the last minute. There were three doors off the hallway, the one at the farthest end being his.
Vowing one last time that she would not, under any circumstances, cry and reveal to him any signs of weakness whatsoever, she raised a trembling hand and rang the doorbell.
“Coming!” called a cheery voice from within.
He answered the door in jeans and a black button down shirt, looking clean-cut and almost human if she hadn’t known any better. But then he opened his mouth and the snide remark which escaped it quickly renewed her full-fledged sense of loathing.
“You’ve got a bigger set of balls than your man,” he said as he greeted her with a victoriously smug smile before stepping aside to let her in.
Ignoring him, Payton stepped into the apartment and her eyes involuntarily began surveying the room in which she stood. Sprawling floor to ceiling windows made up two walls in the spacious living room which was separated from the kitchen by a half-wall divider. An iron spiral staircase in the corner of the room led to the upstairs loft where a bed was just visible beyond the second-floor landing. The decorative colors, art schemes and furniture were all vivid and modern, an appropriate match to the outside neighborhood.
“I’m sure it pales in comparison to your seven-million-a-year man’s penthouse, but it’s home and I love it here,” Sean quipped as he observed her silent appraisal.
“It’s charming,” Payton responded curtly, annoyed that she hadn’t been better able to curb her curiosity.
“It is, isn’t it? I kept hold of it even when I got sent over to Dallas, knowing I’d return to New York someday. It’s where I belong.” Sean’s hand reflexively reached out to her shoulder to help with her coat, but she startled at his touch and backed away. He held up both hands innocently, taking a step back in order to appear as unassuming as possible. “I was just going take your coat.”
“Don't do me any favors,” Payton muttered stubbornly. Turning away from him, she slowly lifted her hands but hesitated once her fingers grazed the buttons, knowing that by shedding her outer garment, she’d only be further reinforcing her intent to stay.
And it wasn’t too late to leave.
She was standing a few mere feet from the door.
It would be so easy...
She turned and glanced longingly at her only escape route before begrudgingly shrugging out of her coat and draping it over the nearest chair. She pulled her sweater sleeves down over her hands and crossed her arms awkwardly over her chest, feeling ridiculously exposed despite the three layers of clothing which still remained on her body. Then she glanced at Sean, whose smirk had transformed into one of sheer amusement as he observed both her inner struggle and insecurities.
“Now we’re making progress,” he said with a wink as he headed for the kitchen and motioned her to follow. “I made a little dinner. Didn’t know if you’d be hungry.”
Payton’s gaze fell onto the table, where two place settings had been meticulously prepared. A bottle of wine was chilling in the center and two tapered candlesticks were lit on either side. “Is this a joke?” she asked dryly, motioning to the ironically romantic ambience he had so skillfully created.
“Joke?” He frowned uncomprehendingly at her as he spooned some pasta into a bowl from the large saucepan simmering on the stove.
“The candles, the wine, dinner.....” She waved her hand across the picturesque table. “Tonight is nothing more than......”
Than what, Payton? jeered the voice in her head. Go on, keep rationalizing.
“Than a business arrangement,” she finished, coughing awkwardly. “Which I already agreed to, so there’s no need for the little seduction tricks. They won’t make you any more human in my eyes.”
“No tricks,” Sean admitted with a matter-of-fact shrug of his shoulders. “It’s dinner time and I was hungry. I figured you would be, too. That’s all.”
“I already ate,” Payton mumbled, feeling foolish as she unwillingly lowered herself onto the chair across from him. She tried to ignore the savory smell wafting up from his plate and suddenly the bowl of soup and crackers she had forced down earlier had long disappeared from her stomach. Reaching for the bottle of wine, she poured herself a glass, figuring the alcohol could at least serve as a trusty friend tonight.
Because hopefully if she was drunk enough she wouldn’t remember a thing......
While he ate, Sean attempted to make small talk, but Payton only responded with curt, one–word answers. She focused all her attention instead on her glass of wine, downing it after a few short minutes.
As she reached for the bottle a second time, Sean’s hand rose up to cover hers. “Easy. I’m not letting you get drunk tonight. Like I said, we’re both doing this clean and sober, and I want you to experience every single minute of it.” His green eyes bore into her across the table, illuminated by the glow of the candles. “So take it slow, please.”
It was only then that she noticed the can of soda on the table in front of him. He hadn’t touched the alcohol which meant he was taking his rehab a lot more seriously than she would ever dream of giving him credit for, she realized begrudgingly. Unimpressed, she tried to pry the bottle from his fingers but he pulled it away and took the liberty of pouring her a second round which filled only less than half the glass.
“You’re an asshole,” she muttered, snatching back the glass and defiantly downing the whole thing in three long swigs. Maybe her empty stomach would turn out to be an advantage after all.....
Sean smiled, invincible to her verbal insults, and continued eating as if he was simply enjoying Sunday brunch with a good friend. “So tell me about your relationship with Cap,” he said, raising an inquiring eyebrow. “What is it about him, honestly? I mean, he’s not the best looking guy in the world. And his personality leaves alot to be desired. He’s always so moody and quiet and withdrawn. The guy has no sense of humor whatsoever.” He shook his head as he took a swig of his soda. “A beautiful and intelligent woman like yourself, with all you have going for you could, in my opinion, do a hell of a lot better.”
Fighting back the urge to defend Chris, she snapped, “I don’t remember asking for your opinion so if you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep it to yourself.”
Sean lay down his utensils and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he eyed her appreciatively. “You’re a firecracker, you know that? A sexy...scrumptious....little ball of fire......”
Her annoyance at the way he was stalling for time and making her stew quickly began to transform into anger. “Don’t waste my time, Avery. I didn’t come here for a friendly chat.”
“No, you didn’t, did you? You came for the best fuck of your life.” His eyes glimmered in confident anticipation as he rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward, closing the distance between them.
Payton narrowed her blue eyes to slits and scowled at his cocky assumption, attempting bravery on the outside while her heart began to hammer madly within her chest. She sat there helplessly as his hungry gaze drank her in, lingering on her lips which, unbeknownst to her, were glazed with an attractively fine sheen of wine.
When she couldn’t come up with a witty enough comeback, he sat back in his chair and resumed eating. “Is part of the reason you’re here to get back at him?”
Feeling tainted, Payton shuddered once his eyes released her, and she couldn’t bear to think of how his touch was going to affect her. “Get back at who for what?”
“Chris. For letting you take the fall alone.”
“We’re not together. I don’t know how many more times I have to say it before it finally sinks into that brainless head of yours.”
She reached for the wine bottle again, but his reflexes were much quicker as he grabbed it off the table and set it down on the floor by his chair and out of her reach. “So you really slept with Redden on Casino Night, then? A one night fuck and run?”
She faltered momentarily and he was quick to catch the defensive shadow which flickered across her blue eyes, darkening them a few shades.
“I didn’t think so,” he continued smugly. “You don’t seem like the kind of girl to sleep around, even though you were raring to go the night of your birthday, but I’ll chalk that up to all the Sangria you drank.” He gave her a knowing look and chuckled at the memory, causing Payton to flush at the reminder of her stupidity. “Look, the guys will find out the truth about you and Chris sooner or later because it’s something you can’t hide forever, but I won’t be the one to tell them. You have my word on that.”
“Your word means nothing to me.”
“That’s a shame. I thought we were making progress here.”
Payton sighed and glanced longingly at the clock on the microwave. All she wanted was to get things over with so she could leave, run far away as fast as she could and never look back. But he was spitefully continuing to drag things out, solely for his own entertainment. “I don’t have all night, Sean.”
He stared at her for the longest time in silent surveillance and she felt herself start to unravel once again beneath his piercing gaze.
“You’re really ready to do this?”
“I came, didn’t I?”
“I’m still having trouble believing you did. You’re that passionate about your job, huh?”
“Yes. And I worked too damn hard to get where I am today to have a scumbag like you destroy it all.”
“Scumbag? Really?” He grimaced at her choice of words. “I wasn’t always one you know.”
“I don’t care.”
“The fame and money got to me and I just got caught up in it all. Until it became too much to handle. The suspension from the league really opened my eyes to things and made me realize I needed to make a change before I lost everything I had worked so hard to achieve.....And now I’m clean almost three months already.”
“Yet you’re still blackmailing me.”
He waved his can of soda through the air in a dismissive motion. “Ahhh, blackmail is harmless. I’m only doing it because I desire you. And I know I don’t stand a chance since you only have eyes for Dru. I was hoping you might wake up and realize on your own that you’re too good for him. He screwed you over big time. He cares about one thing only. Hockey is his life. He’s one of those guys. You’ll never be able to compete with that, Pay.”
Payton flinched at his casual use of her name. “Don’t call me that.”
Ignoring her, he leaned forward across the table again, continuing his full-court press. “He allowed you to look like a whore in front of the whole team, letting them believe you had a one night stand with Redden instead of manning up and taking the heat himself. How can you forgive him so easily yet not forgive me for my mistakes the night of your birthday, even after I apologized as soon as our paths crossed again?”
“Because I love him,” Payton confessed in a barely audible whisper as her eyes welled up with tears. She pushed back her chair, its legs screeching across the wooden floor, and stalked off into the living room, remembering her promise to herself not to let him see her cry. She couldn’t believe he had the nerve to get her here so early, only to prolong the agony with small talk and false pretenses. Her anger quickly resurfaced and she brushed away the tears as she stood by the window and stared down at the bustling street. She could hear him cleaning up in the kitchen and loading the dishwasher, and knew the time had almost come. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself, she prayed for the strength to see it through.
When she heard his footsteps enter the living room, she wiped her eyes and turned away from the window to face him. “Let’s get one thing straight. No more talk of Chris for the rest of the night. Understood?”
“Why? Afraid you might have second thoughts? You say you love him but yet you’re here.....”
He approached her slowly and she reflexively took a step back, but once her legs hit the wall, she realized she had nowhere left to go. “You didn’t give me a choice.”
“There’s always a choice... But for whatever reason, you chose me....You’re an enigma, Doc. A gorgeous, sexy enigma.....” His voice trailed off as he slipped his hand up her back beneath her sweater. It was warm and it heated her skin as he used it to guide her into him. Face to face, she stood less than an inch from him and stubbornly closed her eyes, forcing his image from her mind. But instead, one of Chris replaced it, and all she could see were those confused blue eyes silently asking her if she was trying to hurt him simply as revenge for hurting her.
Her eyes snapped back open and she found herself staring up into Sean’s smoldering green eyes once again. His gaze grew heavy-lidded as his other hand lifted to her cheek, brushing it softly before continuing into her hair. His fingers tangled in her silken locks and he lowered his mouth to hers for a soft kiss.
It was slow, methodical, sensual and gentle.
Everything opposite of what he epitomized.
And it took Payton by surprise.
Sean felt her soften in his arms and took advantage of her lack of resistance to press his body closer to hers, alerting her to his readiness beneath his jeans. His lips returned to hers and trailed down her neck to the base of her throat where he nibbled softly. She tilted her head back and let out the softest of groans. It was the sexiest sound Sean had ever heard.
“I want to pleasure you in ways you’ve only dreamt of,” he murmured against her skin. “Ways in which your man could never even come close to.” His lips began their journey back up the side of her neck until they reached her mouth again. “I want to show you what a real lover is capable of. Can you let me do that?”
Payton’s only response was an involuntary parting of her lips to let him inside. His tongue was strong and probed with confidence and skill.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he continued in a sensual whisper, his breath tickling her face. “I’m so sorry.”
His hands disentangled from their embrace and slid beneath the front of her sweater, upwards, slowly, until they cupped her breasts through her lace bra. Deepening the kiss, he freed them from their restraints and as he brushed his thumbs across her bare, sensitive skin she felt a resultant warmth rush down the length of her body and settle between her thighs.
Gasping in horror at the way her body was betraying her, she recoiled from his embrace, flushed and breathless. “I can’t do this,” she said once she found her voice. “Do whatever you want and tell Shane and the whole goddamn team for all I care, but I can’t do this. I can’t.”
Letting out a small sigh of resignation, Sean perched himself on the arm of the sofa and eyed her not with contempt but with a quiet interest instead. He watched as she frantically readjusted her sweater and the layers of clothing beneath it before running two trembling hands through her hair to tame it. “You wanted me,” he said quietly, his voice eerily calm in the awkward silence which had ensued. “For that brief moment or two....you actually wanted me. I felt the resistance leave your body, felt the willingness on your lips. It was....incredible.”
Flushing deeply at the reminder, Payton hurried across the room to retrieve her coat. “It was wrong of me to come here.”
“You wanted me and it scares the hell out of you.”
Still flustered from both her body’s traitorous reaction and his somewhat accurate accusation, she made her way to the door, terrified he was going to physically try and stop her like he did the last time. But he just followed unhurriedly behind, hands shoved into his pockets casually, as if without a care in the world.
“Payton?”
She reached the door but paused with her hand on the knob when she heard him softly call her name. Against her better judgment, she turned around and he closed the distance between them, stepping into her for one last lingering kiss. “Your secrets are safe with me,” he murmured softly against her mouth, catching her lower lip between his teeth before releasing her. “All of them.”
Too shocked to respond, her blue eyes could do nothing but stare up at him in confusion, and Sean struggled to decipher what exactly it was that he saw within them.
Gratefulness? Relief? Forgiveness?
A combination of all three?
He was confused as to why he was just letting her leave without putting up any semblance of a fight in order to convince her to stay. But the truth was that she had softened him somehow, just from the mere act of having enough courage to show up tonight and let down her defensive brick wall. And strangely enough, he no longer felt any resentment or penchant for revenge.
Just an aching envy that she would never look at him the way she looked at Chris. Her love for him was stronger than lust and it had emerged victorious.
Stifling his own desire which was still raging painfully within his jeans, he managed a humble smile and reached around her to open the door.
Payton stood there, frozen, still in a slight shock over his change of heart and waiting for the next bomb to drop.
But it never did.
He nudged her shoulder gently, guiding her out the door. “If you don’t run along, I’ll have no choice but to assume you’re having second thoughts, and therefore carry you upstairs to the bedroom to finish what we started.”
She could tell by the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes that it was nothing more than a playful threat, and a small smile finally graced her lips. “Thank you,” she whispered before turning and hurrying down the hall.
She had never bestowed that beautiful smile on Sean before and he was slightly taken aback and rendered almost breathless for the briefest of seconds as he soaked up the memory like a sponge. He watched until she disappeared into the elevator, and as the doors closed in front of her, he felt himself smile, albeit bittersweetly.
Now that’s what real progress is, Avery.
And for the first time in as long as he could remember, he found himself actually agreeing with the wise voice in his head.
|
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies.....its compromise that moves us along" ~~She Will Be Loved.....Maroon 5~~
"I started this season much to Simon's chagrin as the 'word nerd' and I am absolutely at a loss for words right now" ~~David Cook~~
"What am I--Kermit the Frog?" ~~Josh Groban~~ |
|
blondemd77
Tolkien
member is offline
"Lovely doctor!"
Joined: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,658
Location: New York
| | Re: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *12/01/09*
« Reply #63 on Dec 4, 2009, 9:16am » | |
GRRRR. For such a short chapter, it took me almost 45 minutes to post.  the site kept deleting everything i had copied/pasted each time i tried!!!
thanks once again to my loyal readers, and apologies in advance to the chapter-length police
Chapter 64
Payton rode the subway in a daze.
Her body swayed with each jerk of the train, but the hand that remained fastened to the overhead rail held her firmly in place. She stared at her reflection in the blackened window and was ashamed at the woman she saw staring back at her.
A woman whose lips had tasted another man’s kiss and almost enjoyed it.
But it wasn’t just another man.
It was the same man who had attacked her, gotten her fired and then attempted to blackmail her.
She shivered in disgust when she remembered how her traitorous body had responded to his touch. Her senses remained so heightened that she could still smell the scent of his cologne, sharp and tangy, which lingered on her skin.
You did the right thing by leaving when you did, the voice in her head attempted to placate her.
And if I hadn’t, then what?
She shook her head, refusing to give her imagination free reign over that possibility, so she instead turned her thoughts over to his unexpected apology and promise to drop the threat.
She hadn’t mistaken the kindness in his eyes as he had said goodbye.
Kindness? Sean?
“You’ve had too much alcohol tonight, Pay,” she muttered to her naive reflection. “He wasn’t being kind. He’s just retreating to lick his wounds until he can come up with a new plan that will be ten times more evil.”
Yet for some reason, she was finding it hard to believe that.
People could change, even the most hopeless, twisted, poorest excuses for humanity.
And what she believed she saw behind those green eyes tonight was a humility and repentance that even the best of actors wouldn’t have been able to reproduce so convincingly.
“UGH! Who cares!? It’s over!”
As soon as she began raising her voice, she drew curious stares from nearby passengers but was comforted by the fact that she was at least a more refined brand of crazy compared to the usual nutjobs who could always be encountered riding the subway.
At that thought, she burst out laughing and felt one of the stressful weights that had been recently dragging her down slide slowly off her shoulders, and immediately turned her attention over to the other one.
Chris.
Her love for him had been the force which had pulled her out of Sean’s apartment.
It had saved her from making what would have been the worst mistake of her life.
The subway train screeched to a halt at her stop and she was jolted sideways by the force before being swept off amidst a sea of passengers, all in a frenzied rush to reach their destinations. After climbing the stairs and exiting the station, she stepped out onto the street where she was met with a flurry of snowflakes. It had started to snow sometime on her way home.
She pulled her woolen hat over her head and buried her hands deep into her coat pockets as she hurried the block and half to her apartment, walking gingerly on the slippery pavement which was already blanketed with a thin layer of white. She wasn’t even aware she was crying until she tasted the saltiness of her tears intermingled with the snowflakes which melted after landing on her cheeks.
Her one fear now, above everything else, was that she could lose Chris.
And that fear was so real and so potent that it chilled her more than the freezing air.
As she turned the corner, she squinted through the haze of white flakes to see a figure exiting her building. He hunched against the bitter wind and started to make his way down the street away from her.
She felt his presence more keenly than her eyes did.
“CHRIS!!”
Her voice echoed down the empty street, silent with the muffled sound of snow.
The figure stopped and turned.
“CHRIS!” she called again more frantically as her legs propelled her down the street as fast as her heeled boots could carry her.
“Pay?”
She threw herself unabashedly into his arms and embraced him with an indescribable fierceness.
His scent, his warmth, the softness of his cheek. Oh god how she had missed it all...
Chris buried his face into her hair and hugged her back just as fiercely. It was then that he noticed her tears. “You’re crying,” he said softly, pulling back to look at her and brushing his thumbs across both rosy cheeks. “What happened? Are you okay? I tried calling but your phone was off. So I came over and Sophia said you had left earlier this evening. She said you wouldn’t say where you were going but that you looked pretty upset.”
“I just.....I had something to take care of,” Payton stammered. “But I’m fine now.” She took in his familiar blue eyes, his crooked nose, the pearly scar on his cheek and those full, soft lips and smiled. “I’m truly fine now.” She wrapped both arms around his neck and embraced him again. “I’m so sorry, Chris. For everything I said. I didn’t mean it. I—“
“Sshhhh.” He silenced her apology with a breathtaking kiss and felt her melt into his arms with a soft, contented sigh. “I’m the one who owes you the apology, Pay. I’ve been such a jerk. I went about this all wrong and I’m so incredibly sorry.”
This time it was Payton who silenced him, returning her aching lips to his, unable to get enough of those addictive kisses. “It doesn’t matter anymore, Chris. You need to be Captain to those guys first and foremost and that needs to take precedence above everything else. I understand that now. I really do. And I’m sorry I pressured you otherwise. It was so wrong of me.”
“No. You need to come first. And after this excruciatingly long week without you, I’ve learned that the hard way.” He took her face in his hands and rested his forehead against hers, gazing deep into those blue eyes whose brilliance was enhanced by the snowflakes which glittered her lashes like diamonds. “I can’t lose you, Pay. You’re the most precious thing in my life. I’d give everything else up in a heartbeat. I mean it. And I’ll do everything in my power to prove it once and for all.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me, Chris.”
“I’m telling the guys tomorrow after practice.” Her eyes widened with uncertainty and he smiled sheepishly at her reaction. “Um...that’s not exactly the kind of confidence booster I could use right now.”
“Sorry.” Payton scrunched up her nose and laughed lightly. “I just don’t think you have to rush into it, that’s all.”
“I do. Because I’d rather they hear it from me than from Avery. Like Scottie said, he’s a loose cannon waiting to explode and I can’t take that risk.”
Payton stiffened at the mention of Sean’s name. She had been so pleasantly distracted by Chris and their unexpected reconciliation over the past few minutes that she had conveniently forgotten where and in whose arms she had been only less than an hour ago.
Chris felt her tense up in his arms. “You’re shivering,” he murmured, running his hands repeatedly up and down her shoulders to generate some heat. “How ‘bout we take this inside?” He took her hand and started to lead her back into the building but Payton resisted, pulling him towards the curb instead where she proceeded to hail a taxi.
“Sophia’s up there,” she explained quickly, shaking off the remnants of the disturbing memories whose claws still clung to not only her mind but to her body as well. “And...I’d like to be alone with you tonight....if you catch my drift.” Tossing a loaded come-hither glance over her shoulder which she doctored with a suggestive smile, she succeeded in convincing Chris that his apartment was definitely the place where he wanted to be.
Preferably as soon as possible.
He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her close while he used his other arm to take over the cab hailing duties. “I love you, Pay,” he murmured as he gently brushed his lips across her temple.
Payton closed her eyes and savored the sound of those three little words.
So simple yet so profound.
“I love you, too, Chris.”
|
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies.....its compromise that moves us along" ~~She Will Be Loved.....Maroon 5~~
"I started this season much to Simon's chagrin as the 'word nerd' and I am absolutely at a loss for words right now" ~~David Cook~~
"What am I--Kermit the Frog?" ~~Josh Groban~~ |
|
blondemd77
Tolkien
member is offline
"Lovely doctor!"
Joined: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,658
Location: New York
| | Re: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *12/04/09*
« Reply #64 on Dec 8, 2009, 8:31am » | |
oh, Laura, ye of oh so little faith.  what's wrong with happily ever after fairytale endings??
Chapter 65
They sat huddled together in the cab in a comfortable, peaceful silence, murmuring a few occasional pleasantries back and forth in casual conversation but mostly just exchanging sweet kisses and playing lazily with their entwined fingers. They were both well-aware that there remained a few wrinkles in their relationship which eventually needed to be ironed out, but they were confident that everything would be addressed in time. All that mattered to them at that very moment was retreating back to basics and rekindling their familiar bond of intimacy.
The second Chris had taken her into his arms without hesitation in such a loving embrace right there on the street, Payton had reconsidered her decision to tell him where she had been earlier that evening. The truth had been on the tip of her tongue, ready to be revealed in what she had thought would be a long, drawn out reconciliation, filled with rehashing of past mistakes, stalemate debates over right versus wrong decisions and finally ending with sincere, heartfelt apologies from both sides. But she had been more than taken aback by their emotional reunion and was just so thrilled with the calm waters which she finally saw resting behind those blue eyes of his that she knew the truth would only inflame him and cause unnecessary angst and upheaval to rise up between them once again. Besides, she had faith that Sean was going to keep both his word and her secrets, and therefore everything that had passed between them tonight would be buried beneath the falling snow, not only protecting herself, but more importantly, Chris.
“You’re quiet,” Chris murmured, kissing the top of her head and interrupting her thoughts.
“Just enjoying the moment. I’ve missed you so much that cuddling with you like this even in the back of a smelly cab is a real treat.” She propped herself up and twisted her body so that she was facing him. “AND I’m planning all the naughty things I’m going to do to you once we’re finally alone.” Her hand slipped inside his coat and slowly trailed down the length of his chest to rest on his lap.
“Who says I even allow naughty in my house?” Chris asked, playing along with her.
Payton glanced down at his lap and raised a knowing eyebrow as its consistency hardened beneath her touch and smiled evilly. “He does.”
“He’s not in charge. I am. And I say when we get home, first thing we’re doing is going over my game plan for tomorrow. You need to listen to my pre-execution speech and help me fine tune it if necessary.”
“Pre-execution, huh?” Payton scrunched up her nose at his dramatic metaphor. “You really think it’s going to be that bad?”
Chris rested his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, fighting back the urge to smile as he imagined the sheer look of frustration which he knew would be visible on her face. “I’m preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. That’s all I can do, really.” He re-opened one eye and feigned annoyance as he felt her hand start to massage him in slow steady strokes over his jeans. “Do you mind? I’m trying to gather my thoughts here.”
“Oh?” she asked, smiling evilly as she applied more pressure to his lap. “Is this bothering you? Sorry. I thought you said you had him on a tight leash. Figured that meant you could multitask.”
“I do, and I can,” Chris said through gritted teeth, unwilling to divulge just how worked up she was indeed making him.
“Prove it.” Shooting him a challenging look, Payton slithered her leg over his thighs and lifted herself up to straddle his lap before grabbing his face and claiming his mouth with a tantalizing kiss.
Before Chris could stop himself, his hands slid beneath her coat, fingers digging into her bare skin as he tried to control the pangs of desire shooting through him. A low groan escaped his mouth followed by a few frustrated expletives. “Satisfied?” he breathed against her mouth in surrender, grinding his hips upwards to meet hers.
“Almost.”
“You win. He’s always in charge.” He nipped her lower lip with his teeth before thrusting his tongue deep inside, tasting every inch of her familiar sweetness. Lowering his voice, he croaked huskily, “And he says he wants to call your bluff and take you right here and now.” His hands flew to the waist of her jeans and unzipped them just low enough to get a peek at the black lace ensemble beneath before she gasped in shock at his brazen maneuver and frantically shoved him away as she readjusted her pants.
“Are you nuts?” she hissed, all the while giggling like a giddy schoolgirl.
Chris grinned mischievously from ear to ear in a smile Payton believed he must have picked up from Scottie. “Maybe.”
“Control yourself. We’ll be home in five minutes.”
“You started it.”
“I was proving a point.”
“So was I. That you’re all bark and no bite.” He reached out to tickle her, tackling her down across the seat. “And like I said, when we get home, we have work to do.”
Her blue eyes gleamed in amusement beneath him. “That’s quite the subjective statement which I’ll interpret the way I choose to.”
Amidst frantic fingers, muffled bouts of laughter and butterfly kisses which he rained over her forehead, cheeks and nose, Chris paused to catch his breath. He stared down at Payton in silent admiration, brushing the hair from her eyes and trailing a finger across the soft contour of her cheek and lips. “God, it’s so good to have you back,” he murmured, unable to tear his loving gaze from her beautiful face.
“It’s good to be back,” Payton replied, suddenly overwhelmed by emotion when she realized how dangerously close she had come to losing him and all of this magical fairytale-romance happiness.
But she quickly forced the negative thought from her mind once and for all.
Everything was finally okay now.
And she was going to do everything in her power to make sure it stayed that way.
******************************
They entered the dark apartment, lip-locked with limbs and hands entwined in an intricate web of desire. Payton had wasted no time and pounced on Chris in the elevator, using her sly sneak attack to convince him that their first order of business was to be her idea work before his. Still tightly wound up from the steamy cab ride, Chris had been easily swayed.
He groped blindly around on the wall for the light switch which he eventually succeeding in grazing with the tips of his fingers. The sconces above the fireplace blazed brightly in response. He lowered the dimmer switch until they were glowing in a softer, more subdued manner and guided Payton backwards into the living room.
“Want me to start a fire?” he murmured in between their frantic kisses, glancing down at the small pile of wood which rested beside the stone hearth.
“You already have,” she answered thickly, impatiently guiding his mouth back onto hers.
Chris smiled goofily at her korny response, loving her all the more for it. “Good answer.” He then proceeded to take the liberty of undressing her, one article of clothing at a time. He slowly slipped the coat off her shoulders, tossing it onto the couch behind him and then paused for a kiss before untying the knot which held her scarf in place. After sliding it down her neck, he sent it sailing through the air with a flick of his wrist to join her coat. He moved in for another kiss but stopped short when he noticed the dark red bruise on the side of her neck a few inches below her left earlobe.
“What’s this?” he murmured, squinting in the dim lighting of the room as he traced his fingers across it, trying to obtain tangible proof that what he was seeing was actually real.
“What’s what?” Payton broke out of her dreamy reverie and lifted her own hand to her neck. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion when all she felt was the flat contour of her skin. However, as soon as she noticed the tiny muscle in his jaw begin to twitch the way it did whenever he was angry, she knew something was terribly wrong.
Chris continued to stare at the mark on her neck, struggling to keep a tight reign on his emotions before unfairly jumping to conclusions.
There had to be a reasonable explanation.
Anything else would just be completely...absurd.
When he finally spoke, his voice came out cold. “I’m not going to say what I think it looks like because by doing so, I’d be accusing you of....” He cursed under his breath and pulled away from her, unable to even finish his sentence due to the pain of the overwhelming possibilities that were quickly flooding his mind.
With eyes widened in both confusion and worry, Payton slowly walked over to the mirror in the hallway by the front door, reaching out to turn the lights up brighter. Tilting her head sideways, she gasped quietly when she saw the unattractive hickey on her neck, a garish souvenir courtesy of Sean. Gripped by a wave of panic at the realization she had just been caught red-handed, she swayed slightly on her feet but grabbed hold of the table beneath the mirror to steady herself.
As soon as Chris saw her reaction, he knew without a doubt that she was guilty and his initial assumption had been correct. So much for giving her the benefit of the doubt. “You never answered my question from earlier when I asked where you were tonight.”
His voice cut through the silence like a knife, and to Payton, it sounded like he was daring her to lie. Looking up shakily, she saw his reflection in the mirror regarding her stonily and knew he’d immediately see through any fabrication she made up at this point.
Yet how could she possibly explain things without him totally misconstruing everything?
She had been hoping to never speak of tonight again.
To anyone.
With a hand still modestly covering her neck as if the incriminating evidence would magically disappear by that simple gesture, she turned slowly to face him. “Chris—“
“Where were you, Pay?” he demanded impatiently, refusing to listen to whatever platitudes and excuses she was about to throw his way. “And whose mouth gave you that hickey?”
Leaning against the arm of the couch for support, Payton perched herself on the edge, keeping a safe distance between them.
She had to tell him the truth.
If she began a story of lies, they would only snowball into something dangerous and eventually get her into even more trouble down the line. But from the steely look on his face combined with the contempt she knew he felt towards Sean, she had a feeling that even after hearing the truth, he wasn’t going to be very understanding at all.
Taking a deep breath, she heard her voice tremble as she answered, “I was at Sean’s tonight.”
Chris flinched as if he had been punched in the face, then shook his head to clear it, telling himself there was no way he had heard her correctly. “What?” he croaked in disbelief.
“I was at Sean’s tonight,” Payton repeated a little more steadily that time. “It’s a long story which I really don’t need to get into. Instead I just need you to trust me that nothing happened between us and that everything is okay now.”
“Trust you!? TRUST you!?” Chris let out a crazed laugh as if it was the most absurd thing he had ever heard. “You weren’t even going to TELL me, were you?”
No lies, Payton.
She swallowed hard and braved his gaze. “No. I wasn’t,” she replied evenly. “I was trying to protect you.”
He slammed his fist into the cushion of the chair with a loud thud, suppressing the urge to punch something breakable instead. “Don’t insult my intelligence and feed me that kind of bullshit! Just tell me why in God’s name were you in that scumbag’s arms tonight!” He choked back a sob at the mental image of Payton and Sean entwined together—one he thought he’d never have to conjure up ever again—and turned away from her, running his hands through his hair as he began pacing the room.
“He was blackmailing me.”
The words flew out of Payton’s mouth in a rush, hoping the truth would somewhat placate Chris’ temper and make him understand how she had been trapped with her back against the wall. Chris stopped short in his tracks but his blue eyes remained full of ice as they bore into her without any traces of the sympathy or understanding she had been hoping for. He remained stony and silent, waiting for her to continue.
“He knew about you and I, and he threatened to tell Shane that it was the real reason I got dismissed from the program, knowing Shane was a gunner who’d do anything to destroy my reputation especially since we’re competing for the same job after fellowship.” She let her voice trail off and wrapped her arms around her chest, hugging herself tightly as she broke Chris’ gaze and stared at the floor. “His condition was that he’d keep my secrets if I slept with him and finished what we started back in November.”
She heard Chris’ sharp intake of breath and could feel the flames of fury emanating from him, even though he was halfway across the room.
“So you went there tonight.....with the intention of doing just that.”
“Yes....I did.”
Her confession floored him.
He balled his hands into fists, pressing them to his eyes and turned away from her again, fighting back the tears. “Why!? Why didn’t you come to ME first?”
“You couldn’t have helped me, Chris! There was nothing you could have done!”
He spun back around angrily. “Of course there was!”
“What!? Would you have fought him again!? Maybe broken another nose or knocked out a few teeth this time!? I’m sure that would have gone over real well with the league’s disciplinary board, especially taking into consideration the fact that the two of you are now teammates!!!”
“I WOULD HAVE FIGURED SOMETHING OUT!”
“IT WASN’T YOUR PROBLEM!!”
Chris flinched again, visibly stunned by her words. “How can you say that? Especially after I told you out there on the street just HOW MUCH you mean to me!” He waved a finger back and forth between the two of them. “Do you think I was taking this relationship lightly? Like it was just a convenience thing for entertainment and something to pass the time with while I got over my messy divorce!? I was in this for keeps, Payton! To me, it was the REAL DEAL! I’d do anything for you if you asked me to! ANYTHING! That’s what a partnership is all about! But you don’t ask! And I can’t understand for the life of me why you are so hell-bent on this self-sufficiency trip!”
“I DID ask you to do something for me!” Payton was so distraught over trying to get him to understand her reasoning that she didn’t even notice that he had begun speaking of their relationship in the past tense. “A week ago in that locker room!! I asked you to be honest and come clean to the guys about us! But you didn’t! You WOULDN’T!” He opened his mouth to defend himself but she cut him off, not wanting or needing to rehash old arguments. “Forget it! I said before I that was over it and I am! But my decision to not tell you about Sean had nothing to do with self-sufficiency or pride! I screwed up your professional life more than enough over the past five months with all the upheaval I brought to that locker room! You’ve got enough shit to worry about every day without my own pathetic drama being added to the mix! I couldn’t get you involved again! Especially when it involved Sean!!! I was doing you a favor!! Why can’t you SEE that!?!?”
“DOING ME A FAVOR BY CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSING TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER MAN!?”
Payton shuddered as his rage reverberated through her. “I realized my mistake and walked out of there before anything happened,” she said quietly.
“Do you want a medal?” Chris laughed bitterly. “The intent was there. Which makes you just as guilty as if you had gone all the way.” He turned his back to her and stared into the cold, dark fireplace, unable to rid his mind of the image of Payton showing up voluntarily at Sean’s door for nothing more than a good roll in the sack.
Payton closed her eyes, counted to ten and tried to collect her thoughts. Her heart was racing, her hands were trembling and she was on the verge of a full-fledged breakdown. Everything was spiraling out of control and she somehow needed to stop the bleeding between them before it was too late.
But how?
What was left to possibly say that she hadn’t already said?
How many more times could she apologize or beg for forgiveness?
Figuring at this point that actions would speak louder than words, she approached him slowly, stepping into him from behind and tentatively sliding her arms beneath his to wrap around his waist. She rested her forehead against his back for the briefest of seconds before his fingers encircled her wrists and he took a step forward out of her embrace, turning around to face her and releasing her hands.
“No,” he whispered, shaking his head. “Don’t. I’m so...appalled. I can’t even look at you, Pay.” He slowly raised his gaze to her, and those blue eyes reflected nothing but emotionless, hollow craters. “Because now when I do, all I feel is disgust.”
His words stung more than if he had physically slapped her.
“You don’t mean that, Chris,” Payton whispered, her eyes welling up with tears. “Out there on the street....You just said you loved me...that I was the most precious thing in your life...that you couldn’t lose me again.....” She continued to stammer, desperate and pathetic, as she frantically grasped for whatever measly defensive arguments she had left.
“I thought you were someone else.”
“I’m who I’ve always been!”
“No, you’re NOT! You have this whole other side to you that I know absolutely NOTHING about! Suddenly I’m learning that you don’t even come CLOSE to the woman I thought you were! Never in my wildest dreams would I EVER think that you’d....that you’d.....submit yourself to him and let him use you like that.......And then to top it all off, you were going to hide it all from me! I can’t and won’t love a liar, Payton. Especially one that has no respect for herself or the relationship she’s in. That’s where I draw the line.”
He brushed past her and headed for the door, pulling it open and standing beside it like a sentry.
Payton gaped at him, frozen with shock by both his words and his actions.
Not only was he throwing her out of his apartment, he was breaking up with her.
“Chris....don’t....”
He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block the image of her tear-stained face from his mind and her desperate pleas from his ears. “We’re done, Payton. I can’t do this anymore. I just survived one train wreck of a relationship and I don’t have the strength to battle for another. Especially one that’s been doomed from the start.”
“We can fix this, Chris. We just need some time.”
“We’ve had enough chances to fix what’s wrong, but we seem to keep making things worse instead of better. We rushed into this and we’re too volatile together. We don’t stand a chance.”
“I don’t believe that and I know you don’t either. We—“
He couldn’t bear to let her finish. Interrupting loudly, he said, “Please just go.”
Numbly, Payton gathered up her things and forced her feet to carry her to the door. By now, the tears were freely rolling down her cheeks in a torrential waterfall and she felt that fairytale happiness which she had been basking in only moments before crumble before her eyes and fade away into nothing more than a mirage.
Pausing in the doorway, she turned and stared up at him defiantly, forcing him to meet her gaze. With the very last fiber of fight left within her, she confessed resolutely one last time, “I love you.”
Whereas hearing those words from her mouth used to give Chris butterflies reminiscent of his high school days, now they only served to harden his heart. Maybe he was being too stubborn, too proud, and too self-righteous. Maybe he was going to look back on this night a few years down the line and realize he had made the biggest mistake of his life.
But for right now, in this very moment, he knew without a doubt that he was making the right decision, as painful as it may be.
“Goodbye, Payton.”
Both the impatience in his voice and the apathy in his lifeless eyes contributed a stark realness to the scene, dispelling whatever hopes Payton had of this all being just a horrible nightmare from which she would soon wake up.
Bowing her head in defeat, she slipped past him without another word.
Once she was out the door, she felt her heart, which had been holding itself together so tenuously by the finest thread, finally shatter into a zillion tiny pieces, so intricate and miniscule, that it would take a hundred lifetimes for it to ever be fully repaired and whole again.
*****************************
Payton didn’t move when the conductor announced her stop.
Or the next one.
Or the one after that.
The train continued its lumbering trek downtown and she didn’t move at all until it reached Bleecker Street, which was when she got up slowly and exited the car, almost robotically as if her body was moving of its own accord. Her mind was empty and her heart a hollow shell as she retraced her steps down the same street she had traversed only a few hours earlier. Due to the weather, everyone had closed up shop for the night, and only a few stragglers remained, all scurrying to get back home.
The soft, fluffy snowflakes had turned to icy sleet, but she didn’t feel their tiny daggers as they battered her face and pierced her skin. Nor did she feel the forceful gusts of wind which threatened to topple her tiny frame.
She didn’t feel anything at all.
Instead, she just kept moving steadfastly towards her destination, stoic and determined, knowing that she had consciously made each and every single decision, most of them being the wrong ones of course, which had ultimately led her to this point.
She, alone, was to blame for such a cruel twist of fate.
Her story was just about complete.
All it needed now was the ironic ending to bring the labile past six months of her life full circle.
She entered the building, its starkness now strangely familiar and somewhat comforting, and rode the elevator once again to the top floor. She knocked once, twice, three times and was about to turn away, figuring he must have gone out for the night, when she heard the lock turn on the other side.
He opened the door wearing nothing but a pair of track pants, sitting low on his hips, his smooth, sculpted bare chest and tattooed arms now a thing of beauty to her convoluted mind.
He didn’t try to disguise the surprise on his face when he saw her.
She hadn’t fully erased her eye make-up which had smeared unattractively from all the crying she had done on the ride over. Small black smudges of mascara clung to her cheeks where they had intermingled with her tears and dried up. Yet despite the dark shadows under her swollen red eyes, she was still quite a vision.
His throat went dry and he couldn’t seem to find an appropriate thing to say.
“Time to put your money where your mouth is,” she challenged thickly as she stepped into him and pressed her mouth to his. “You better not disappoint.”
For a brief, almost imperceptible moment, his conscience gave him a slight nudge, reminding him that she was obviously hurt and therefore vulnerable and possibly not even fully aware of her actions, which, whether intentional or not, would have major consequences the morning after.
But as soon as their tongues collided in a mind-blowing explosion of fire and he felt her small hands slide across his chest, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in their wake, he dismissed any and all reservations and gave up on trying to interpret her reasons for reappearing at his door.
Besides, did it really matter?
He was finally being given his chance.
And this time, he’d be damned if he let it slip from his hands yet again.
|
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies.....its compromise that moves us along" ~~She Will Be Loved.....Maroon 5~~
"I started this season much to Simon's chagrin as the 'word nerd' and I am absolutely at a loss for words right now" ~~David Cook~~
"What am I--Kermit the Frog?" ~~Josh Groban~~ |
|
blondemd77
Tolkien
member is offline
"Lovely doctor!"
Joined: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,658
Location: New York
| | Re: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *12/08/09*
« Reply #65 on Dec 18, 2009, 9:50am » | |
sorry for the shocker, guys. actually, im not ;) glad im still able to keep you entertained!!!
Laura, actually when we had that conversation, i was telling the truth. but then one night, inspiration just hit me and i realized i had to take the story in this totally opposite direction. i'll explain why once the story ends. forgive me?
This will probably be it until after the holidays, so Merry Christmas everyone!!!
Chapter 66
Sean stirred as the early morning sun greeted him merrily through the open blinds, unsympathetic to the fact that he had barely gotten any sleep the night before. The snow had stopped sometime during the night and the sky was now a vivid, clear blue, more suited for a warm, spring day than the frigid temperature of late February. He squinted and shifted out of the sun’s bright rays, replacing his head back onto the shady portion of his pillow a few inches away.
Yawning silently, he glanced at his watch on the nightstand and groaned. He needed to be at the rink in less than two hours. He was never going to survive a full practice today. He was exhausted.
For a moment, he considered faking the flu bug, but he knew John would see right through that excuse and assume the worst, like he had cheated on his rehab and was hungover instead.
Come to think of it, he technically was hungover, in a way.
Not from alcohol or any illegal recreational substance, but from an excess of physical exertion.
Turning onto his side, he broke into a satisfied smile at the thought as he watched Payton sleep. The sex had been phenomenal, on so many different levels. Her initial aggression had been not only unexpected but also quite arousing, and their first time had been quick, to the point and, well, incredibly hot to put it plainly. They hadn’t even made it upstairs. Afterwards, she had loosened up and allowed him to slow down the pace and pleasure her in all the ways he had promised. He loved the vanilla coconut scent of her skin, her soft sighs of contentment, the feel of her smooth, slender body entwined with his, and the way she dug her nails into his back and trembled in his arms as she climaxed. She had done her fair share of pleasuring him in reciprocation, and he found himself growing hard again at the thought, curiously wondering just how and where she had learned such impressive skills.
He had lost track of the number of times they had actually done it.
Three or four was probably a good guess, not counting the oral interludes in between.
And it had definitely been worth the wait.
She was so beautiful lying there, with her hair strewn across the pillow, sparkling like gold in the sunlight. His black sheets were tucked loosely around her breasts, making her ivory skin in contrast appear pale and flawless, like porcelain. She was lying half on her side, half on her stomach, and one knee was tucked up almost to her chest, revealing the prominent feminine contours of her hip bone and thigh beneath the sheets.
He had had beautiful women in his bed before, but none who were ever able to carry on any semblance of a conversation or even string a few intelligent sentences together without using the words ‘like’ or ‘seriously’.
But then again, it had never been their brains he was after.
And to be fair, he and Payton hadn’t done much talking at all last night.
Still, she was in a league all her own, which was what had initially attracted him to her the very first night they had met. That, and, of course, the fact that he had ruffled quite a few of the guys’ feathers just by flirting with her. She was smart, sophisticated and driven, and excluding the fact that she was blonde, she was the polar opposite of the stereotypical women he was used to fraternizing with.
He still had vivid memories of the night she had fixed his shoulder, after which he had both loathed and respected her simultaneously. He had been so angry at her for spitefully causing him an obscene amount of pain when she could have been much more subtle in her maneuvering, but he also respected her for knowing exactly what needed to be done and then going ahead and doing it, successfully of course, without even the slightest hesitation.
And that, to him, was sexier than all his previous lingerie models and actresses put together.
He gently brushed her hair back off her shoulder and saw the hickey was still there, now having turned a deeper, purple color. He had been hoping he had imagined it last night when he had first noticed it upon undressing her. And despite his muddled brain short-circuiting from lack of blood being quickly drained by other body parts, he had been able to conclude that Chris must have seen it and asked questions, thus forcing Payton to tell him the ugly truth. He assumed Chris had thrown her out immediately afterwards, knowing the self-righteous bastard that he was, and hence the reason she had voluntarily returned to his apartment and graced him with her presence after walking out on him just a few hours prior.
He hadn’t intended to give her that hickey.
He honestly hadn’t even realized he had kissed her that hard until he saw the evidence otherwise.
His guilt had been short-lived, however, when he realized that Chris’ loss had been his gain.
And oh what a gain it had been.
After drinking her in once more with his admiring eyes and wondering if he’d ever be so lucky as to have her sleeping beside him ever again, he slipped out of bed quietly so as not to wake her and sauntered off to the shower, realizing he must have a death wish for freely choosing to attend practice that morning.
Because Chris was obviously going to be on the warpath, looking to kill.
Suddenly the fake flu bug and John’s hangover assumptions didn’t seem like such a bad alternative option after all.
*************************
Payton awoke in an empty bed to unfamiliar surroundings. Her whole body ached with a weary yet almost pleasant soreness, and her lips felt swollen and dry. Her throat was parched and for a moment she thought she was possibly hungover, but her head wasn’t pounding like it usually did after a bout of drinking.
No, she definitely hadn’t drank anything the night before. Just had an obscene amount of sex, which explained why her body physically felt like she had run a marathon.
She squeezed her eyes shut as the events of the previous night returned to haunt her.
Sean dropping the blackmail threat and letting her go....the hickey.....Chris so angry and heartbroken, throwing her out of his apartment without an ounce of empathy in his eyes.....
And then she had returned here, to Sean’s apartment, with the sole intent of seducing him.
Glancing down at her body which was naked beneath the sheets, she clearly appeared to have succeeded. But whereas she should have been appalled at the thought of lying naked in his bed, strangely, she didn’t feel anything at all. Her numbness from last night had carried over into the morning and all that was left was a quiet resignation.
She and Chris were through.
As shocking and as painful as that was, it was the truth.
This wasn’t just a bad dream from which she could wake up at any moment, or a silly little argument of which they’d soon be making up over dinner that night.
This was the real deal.
She needed to accept it and move on.
And she’d be damned if she shed any more tears over it or went begging for forgiveness and for a second chance to make things right. What little pride still remained left within her was going to allow her to keep moving forward without looking back.
She knew one thing for sure though.
She was done with love.
For a very long time.
She sat up in bed, clutching the sheets to her chest as she glanced around. Her clothes were nowhere in sight.
What the hell did he do with my...?
Slowly, detailed fragments of the previous night began to grow lucid in her murky mind and she recalled them not even making it upstairs the first time. She had pushed him down on the couch and fucked him right there on his lap.
Oh my god.
Face burning with shame and bile inching up her throat, she scurried into the bathroom, dragging the sheet which was still wrapped loosely around her body, and collapsed to her knees beside the toilet. She dry-heaved a few times but nothing came up.
“Of course not,” she muttered sourly to herself. “You’re not drunk. Accept the fact like an adult and move on.”
She sat there for awhile, her back against the tub with eyes closed as she tried to compose herself, wishing to god she had been drunk to have somewhat of an excuse for her irresponsible actions.
But she had been stone-cold sober.
She had freely chosen to return here because she had wanted him with every fiber of her being. And she had made that perfectly clear last night as she continued to surrender her body to him, over and over again, never tiring. And for those few endless hours, her mind had been blissfully empty and the pure physical pleasure had driven all her pain and heartache away.
And for that reason alone, she was grateful to him for providing her with such a reprieve.
But now it was the morning-after and her actions had consequences. She couldn’t stay locked up hiding in the bathroom forever. She needed to pick up the pieces, compose herself as best she could and courageously resume living her life.
One step at a time.
Standing up, she leaned over the sink to rinse out her mouth and splash cold water on her face, removing the leftover smudges of mascara on her cheeks, which were now nothing more than faint, murky shadows. With one hand, she tousled her hair in an attempt to detangle the unruly waves, and then retreated back into the bedroom in search of something to wear. His black button-down shirt was lying in a heap on the floor by the closet and she slipped it on. It smelled like him. That light, tangy scent she now knew by heart.
Taking a deep breath and fighting to remain calm and dignified, she made her way down the metal staircase which creaked and groaned beneath her.
Sean looked up from where he sat at the kitchen table, reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee, his eyes following her bare thighs and legs as they gingerly descended the narrow steps.
“Morning,” he greeted her pleasantly with a smile.
“Morning,” Payton muttered, unable to meet his eyes. He appeared freshly showered and was dressed in black track pants and a long-sleeved grey T-shirt. She wondered how long he had been up and wished he had awakened her sooner.
He gestured to coffemaker on the counter where a pot had finished brewing and was being kept warm. “Help yourself.”
“Thanks.”
Well aware that his attention was now solely on her instead of the newspaper, she self-consciously poured herself a cup, added some sugar, and opened the fridge in search of milk. She took her time meticulously stirring the coffee and replacing the milk back in the fridge, trying to avoid him for as long as possible.
Eventually, though, she had no choice but to turn around and join him at the table.
“That looks good on you,” he complimented, motioning to his shirt. She had that morning-after-sex look to her with her rumpled hair and red, swollen lips and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. When she didn’t respond, he shrugged helplessly and changed the subject. “I didn’t know what to make you for breakfast. I just had a bowl of cereal—I have to eat light when we have practice. But if you tell me what you like, I’ll throw something together for you. Pancakes? Waffles? An omelet?”
“I’m fine.” Glancing at the clock, she said curtly, “If you have practice, shouldn’t you be on the road already?”
“Na. I can be a little late. Traffic is always the best excuse coming up from the city. And it’s the one time I actually welcome it.”
Payton didn’t laugh at his joke. She just stared down into her mug, swirling the dark liquid distractedly. “Don’t let me keep you. All I need are my clothes and I’ll be out of here.”
“They were in the living room last time I checked.”
“Right.” That nuisance of a blush started to creep up her cheeks again but she quickly raised the mug to her lips to shield her face.
“So do you think Chris is going to skin me alive today?”
Payton flinched at the unexpected sound of his name but brusquely pushed the pain aside. “Chris and I are through,” she said flatly.
“I realize that. Obviously. But he’ll still hate me, regardless, and will continue to make my life a living hell if he wants to.”
“Sucks to be you then.”
Sean raised an eyebrow, somewhat offended by her flippant attitude. “That’s all you can say?”
Payton met his eyes, challenging him. “What do you want me to say?”
“I’d like to know what you told him last night, just so I can prepare myself.”
“I told him the truth. I initially came here because you were blackmailing me.”
Sean winced. “Was he pissed?”
“More at me than at you.”
“Why did you tell him? Was it because he saw the hickey?”
Payton swallowed hard, remembering the vacant look in Chris’ eyes once he had discovered it. She felt tears well up behind her eyes but stubbornly blinked them back, forcing down another few swigs of coffee. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry about that, by the way.”
She looked up over the rim of her mug in surprise and it must have been a play of the sunlight streaming through the large windows, because she thought for a second she saw regret in those green eyes. Her own eyes narrowed defensively. “Don’t be.”
“I didn’t even know I was doing it. I certainly didn’t intend to.”
“It’s fine,” she said, raising her voice a notch, not wanting to discuss it any further. “He’s not going to touch you. Now that we’re through, he has no reason to come clean to the guys anymore. He won’t do anything to jeopardize his precious image, trust me.”
Sean let out a low whistle. “Wow. It was a tougher break than I had thought.”
“I’m not going to dwell on it. It’s his loss.”
“You can say that again.” As his gaze lingered on those soft red lips, he wondered if her apathy was all just an act and she was only trying to be tough in front of him. Because last night, she was an absolute wreck when she appeared at his door. Or maybe, quite possibly, she really had gotten over Chris in the eight-hour span. If so, his ego liked to think he played a crucial role in helping her do just that.
Fully aware of his eyes on her, Payton stood up and turned away to refill her mug. The coffee was strong and the caffeine was ironically settling her nerves.
“Pay?”
She froze with her back to him, shoulders squared. “I asked you not to call me that.”
The icy undertone to her voice told him she meant business. “Sorry. I forgot it was such a big deal.” He paused a moment, making a mental note to avoid it in the future, and then asked quietly, “Are you okay?”
Payton turned around, leaning against the counter and cradled her mug with both hands. Her stony blue eyes met his, devoid of emotion. “I’m fine.”
“You were anything but fine last night when you showed up at my door.”
“What’s it to you?”
“I just....I don’t want to see you hurting, that’s all. You don’t deserve that.”
Payton let out a sarcastic laugh. “You already got what you wanted, Avery. So stop pretending like you care.”
Her skepticism at his attempt at sincerity stung, but rather than admitting it to himself or to her, he shook it off and approached her slowly. “What if I want more?” He cornered her and in one quick motion, took the mug out of her hands and lifted her up, sitting her down on top of the counter. He leaned in and she welcomed his advances, lifting her legs to wrap them snugly around his torso. He hardened instantly when he saw she wasn’t wearing any underwear, and he hungrily claimed her mouth while unbuttoning her shirt.
Remembering the way he had made her feel last night and the amnesic bliss which had resulted, Payton had no intention of resisting him. “You can have it,” she answered breathlessly between kisses and moaned softly when his lips found her breast. “Under one condition.” He ignored her and moved to the other breast, trailing his tongue along its rosy peak. “Listen to me!” she said, grabbing his face with both hands and forcing him to stop by pulling him back up.
“What? Why are you talking me to death? What condition?” he asked in frustrated exasperation.
“This is nothing more than sex.”
“Really? Is that what it’s called?” He grinned facetiously as he pulled off his T- shirt and watched as her hands eagerly reached out to caress the sculpted contours of his chest. Her touch made him shiver in anticipation.
“I get mine, you get yours.”
His mouth returned to hers and he captured her lips with a fierce possessiveness. “Mmmhmm.”
With palms flattened against his chest, Payton gently shoved him off again. “No being sweet, no pretending to care, and no talk of feelings or questioning how I’m doing ever again.”
“Fair enough. If you want me to be a dick, I will. You know I’m good at it.”
He was still smiling, which both infuriated Payton at the same time it heightened her desire. “I’m serious, Avery. I mean it. If you break any of those rules, I’m gone.”
Sean raised an interested eyebrow, pretending to think it over as his fingers teased their way between her thighs. “And if I stick to them?”
Payton writhed beneath his touch and leaned into him. Her lips caught his earlobe and she murmured, “You might just have me coming back for more.”
He grinned, both ecstatic with his good luck and pleased with the challenge. He knew he’d be able to keep her satisfied and then some. “Then I think we’ve got ourselves an understanding, Doc. Now let’s seal the deal, shall we?” The readiness he felt between her legs was all the affirmation he needed, and, lifting her up into his arms, he carried her back upstairs.
“But you’ve got practice,” she reminded him in a half-hearted attempt to discourage him.
“Fuck it.”
So he’d be a little late.
At least he’d catch Chris off guard and he’d be less likely to cause a ruckus if he was already out on the ice with the rest of the team when he arrived.
Pleased with the thought, he slowed down the pace a bit, indulging in a little foreplay first when he realized that tardiness could work to his advantage after all.
|
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies.....its compromise that moves us along" ~~She Will Be Loved.....Maroon 5~~
"I started this season much to Simon's chagrin as the 'word nerd' and I am absolutely at a loss for words right now" ~~David Cook~~
"What am I--Kermit the Frog?" ~~Josh Groban~~ |
|
blondemd77
Tolkien
member is offline
"Lovely doctor!"
Joined: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,658
Location: New York
| | Re: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *12/18/09*
« Reply #66 on Dec 22, 2009, 8:35am » | |
looking back, i just realized i began this story on New Years Eve of last year!!! and i have about two chapters left, so i might even be ending it on New Years Eve too! pretty cool can't believe it took me a whole year to write!
Merry Christmas guys!
Chapter 67
Sean made it up to Greenburgh in record time, breaking all sorts of speed limits. He raced inside, calling a hurried hello to the security guard and sped down the hallway into the empty locker room. He disrobed and quickly changed into his practice gear before haphazardly lacing up his skates. When he made it out onto the ice he was relieved to see his teammates were still doing their skating drills, which meant he wasn't as late as he had feared.
John blew the whistle as he saw Sean approach and everyone skated to a halt. "Well well, look who finally decided to grace us with his presence."
Sean had already prepared himself for what he knew would be a public chastising. "Sorry. I forgot to set my alarm and overslept."
"Overslept, huh? Must have been a long night...."
Sean flashed him a defiant smirk. "You could say that."
John shook his head in disgust and turned to address the rest of the team. "What a shocker. Sean Avery caring more about which whore he can fuck next instead of his team--WHOM I’VE REPEATEDLY REMINDED ALL OF YOU PRATS COMES FIRST AND SUPERCEDES ANY DRAMA IN YOUR PERSONAL LIVES! HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF HERE!?" He banged his stick on the ice with each word for emphasis, causing some of the younger guys to flinch uncomfortably. Turning back to Sean, he asked, "Do you just not care about the game, Sean? Because if so, I don’t want you here. I can make it easier for all of us and have you shipped elsewhere. All it’d take would be a few phone calls.”
Sean held out his arms in innocent surrender. “C’mon John. You know this is where I want to be.”
“Then start acting like it and prove you’re here for the same reason the rest of us are--to win the goddamn Stanley Cup.”
“So was she blonde or brunette, Sean?" Colton called out from down the rink, unable to ever resist the opportunity to stir things up a bit.
"The sweetest fucking blonde I've ever tasted," Sean drawled back brazenly, letting his gaze purposely land on Chris for a split second before smiling at Colton.
“Enough! The both of you!” John barked in annoyance, grabbing Sean by the shoulder and guiding him towards the corner of the rink. "Give me 100 pushups for your whoring around and another 100 suicides for your tardiness. And next time you so much as show up even thirty seconds late, you're being scratched from the lineup for the following 5 games. GOT IT!?"
"Loud and clear," Sean said with a condescending salute, still grinning broadly. He shot one last glance over at Chris who was now eyeing him steely, jaw clenched in suppressed anger, before skating off to the empty area of ice away from his teammates. He set his stick down horizontally in front of him and began his pushups, digging the toe blades of his skates into the ice for leverage. Pushups were a bitch enough on solid ground, and even twice as lethal on an icy surface, hence they were the perfect form of punishment. Gritting his teeth, he plowed through them, ignoring the burning sensation in his muscles and focusing instead on the way Payton looked that morning, sitting on his kitchen counter wearing nothing beneath his shirt.
She had told him she’d be willing to come back for more....
He still couldn’t believe it.
He eagerly began planning the next time he’d be able to see her and didn't realize he was spacing out and smiling goofily until he was doused with a shower of ice crystals. Sputtering, he blinked through the cold water streaming down his cheeks and looked up to see Chris' skate blades mere inches from his face.
"Don't disappear after practice,” Chris ordered, glaring down at him. “We need to talk."
Sean grinned obligingly again, convinced that nothing could bring him down that morning—not an insane amount of pushups or suicide skating drills, or even the prospect of another ugly altercation with Chris. He was floating on too much of a high and it was incredibly intoxicating. "Sure thing, Cap."
Bending down under the pretense of adjusting his laces, Chris lowered his voice and said, "And I swear to God you better wipe that smirk off your face if you know what’s good for you.”
Sean brazenly raised his eyes upwards, his smile broadening. “Or else what, Cap?”
Chris bit the inside of his cheek in frustration to keep from lashing out. Sean was untouchable and he damn well knew it. And it was that helplessness which incensed Chris more than anything. He stood back up in retreat without saying a word.
“Didn’t think so,” Sean shot back, victorious yet again.
“Fuck you, Avery,” Chris muttered and then skated off in a huff before Sean could respond.
It was a shame, because Sean had what would have been the perfect comeback, too.
It’s what your girlfriend does best.
***********************
Chris was sitting by his locker, meticulously taping the blade of his stick—over, around, under, around. He repeated the process ten times, finally breaking off the tape from its roll and securing it against the flat surface of the blade. It was a ritual which he usually reserved for game days because it was both mind-numbing and relaxing at the same time, and it helped to clear his mind and get him focused.
Which was why he was doing it now, after practice instead of before tomorrow night’s game, as he waited for Sean. He needed to keep both his hands and his mind occupied, for fear of what they would be doing otherwise. He had been a mess during practice—overskating pucks, unable to get any of his shots to hit the net—and John had ruthlessly called him out on it, embarrassing him in front of his teammates. But ever since Sean had made that comment about the blonde he had supposedly been with the night before, Chris had been unable to think of anything else.
Could it have really been Payton he was referring to? She had been an emotional wreck when she had left his apartment, but was she that unstable to go running right back to Sean for revenge?
Emotional or not, she was a hell of a lot smarter than that.
At least he thought she was.
Why do you even care? It’s over between you. You ended it last night and now she’s free to spend her nights with whoever the hell she wants to.
The voice in his head was speaking the truth, but Chris found it was alot harder to accept this morning than it had been the night before. Maybe he had acted too precipitously. Sure, he had been angry and his ego had been bruised but what if he had given himself a chance to cool down a bit first? Would things have played out differently then?
Finishing his stick, he turned it around, placing the blade on the floor and rested his forehead against the shaft, closing his eyes.
It was all his fault.
He should have known better than to get involved in another relationship so soon, especially before his marriage had even ended. And it hadn’t been just a casual relationship—that was part of the problem. It had been intense and emotional and much too labile. That night they had made love in Buffalo—even though it had felt so incredibly right—unbeknownst to both of them, had been the start of their undoing. There were too many factors stacked against them. He should have seen that and held back for awhile until things settled down.
Maybe then they would have had somewhat of a chance and things wouldn’t have ended so disappointingly the way they had.
“Meditating there, Cap?” Sean asked, amused, as he entered the locker room sweating profusely from his workout in the gym. He had just run five miles on the treadmill, his usual post-practice routine, and felt ironically energized despite the obscene amount of energy he had expended the night before.
Chris opened his eyes and lifted his head, which was a thousand times lighter than his much heavier heart. The locker room was silent, as the rest of the team had left for the day, and they had the privacy to talk freely without any uninvited eavesdropping. So he wasted no time in getting straight to the point. "Why did you have to blackmail her? If you wanted to get back at me, why did it have to be through her?"
Sean grabbed a towel off the shelf and ran it over his face. "It had nothing to do with you. I’m way over that little scrum we had back in November, and plastic surgery did wonders for my nose as if you couldn't tell.” He ran a finger proudly down its bridge and smiled. “Brand new."
Chris didn’t smile back. "You didn’t answer my question. Why did you blackmail her?"
"Because she's a sweet piece of ass and I wanted a taste for myself. Does that answer your question? Its what you expect a guy like me to say anyway, so there's your generic answer."
Chris gripped the handle of his stick so tightly his knuckles turned white. "You had no right to fuck with us like that. I loved her."
"Bullshit. Because if you did, you would have fessed up to the guys like she asked you to. Damn, I'd be proud as hell to say I was involved with a woman like her. Yet you took her for granted and let the precious game come first, afraid of ruining your reputation with the guys. You don't deserve her.” He shrugged smartly and turned towards his locker, chugging the remains of his water bottle. “I just made it easy and did both of you a favor."
"Did she come back to your apartment last night?"
Sean turned around in surprise at the question and met Chris’ gaze across the room. There was something there in Chris' eyes which tugged at his conscience. A pathetic, almost desperate pleading, as if he was terrified of hearing the truth.
So for the first time in his life, he lied in order to protect someone.
Whether he was protecting Chris or Payton, he wasn't quite sure, but standing there and seeing his unemotional Captain on the verge of tears and remembering how broken Payton had appeared standing in his doorway, he decided he pitied the both of them.
"Come on Dru, if I had been that lucky, you would have been the first to hear about it this morning," he said with a mirthless chuckle which he hoped sounded at least somewhat convincing.
Chris breathed a sigh of relief and loosened his grip on the stick, relaxing some of the tension in his hands.
Sean peeled away his soaked T-shirt and kicked off his sneakers. "So it’s officially over between you, then?"
"Yes."
“Then why do you care if she was with me or not?”
Chris’ eyes darkened, unable to disguise in his expression his blatant hatred of the man standing in front of him. “Because you would ruin her.”
Sean threw his head back and laughed at the irony. “ME? Ruin her? Na. You did a fine job of that already, all by yourself, Cap. Trust me.”
Chris was too stunned by Sean’s bold accusation to retaliate, so Sean continued. "She loved you, ya know. She walked out of my place, risking the future of her job, because she loved you. She put you first, even when you wouldn't put her first."
"It wasn't right between us. It all happened too fast and we weren’t ready." Chris wondered how many times he’d have to repeat those words to finally start believing them.
"You keep telling yourself that. If it helps you sleep at night." Sean laughed again as he grabbed a towel from the shelf and headed for the showers. He paused in the doorway and looked back one last time. "But just for the record, you're the world's biggest jackass for letting her go. And I hope someone snatches her up from right under your nose. Because a girl like that—she’s the complete package--and she won't stay single for long. Mark my words."
With another condescending salute, he disappeared through the door and heard a loud crack echo down the hallway after him.
It was the sound of Chris angrily smashing his stick against the bench in frustration.
|
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies.....its compromise that moves us along" ~~She Will Be Loved.....Maroon 5~~
"I started this season much to Simon's chagrin as the 'word nerd' and I am absolutely at a loss for words right now" ~~David Cook~~
"What am I--Kermit the Frog?" ~~Josh Groban~~ |
|
blondemd77
Tolkien
member is offline
"Lovely doctor!"
Joined: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,658
Location: New York
| | Re: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *12/22/09*
« Reply #67 on Dec 29, 2009, 8:29am » | |
ELLEN!!!!!!!!!!!  OMG you totally made my day!!!!! SO happy to have you back here!! **huge hugs** things just weren't the same without you!
Hi Jan!!! Thanks for giving this story a chance even though it's not about Adam and M5 You rock!!!
Sorry this is short, guys. it should have been part of the last chapter but i didnt have it finished in time. Only the Epilogue remains after this, which hopefully i'll post early next week!
Thanks again to everyone
Chapter 68
Payton entered her empty apartment, weary and spent. She had called the clinic on the subway ride home to inform them she was feeling under the weather, and they obligingly rescheduled her day’s patients for later on in the week.
'Under the weather' was an understatement, though.
Now that it was morning and she was no longer hiding like a coward beneath the refuge of Sean’s sheets, the harsh light of reality forced her to finally see herself for what she really was.
Broken apart, from the inside out and stripped bare, left with nothing.
Her whole body was numb, devoid of all feeling, yet it wouldn’t stop trembling. She wrapped her arms around herself and struggled to remain upright on her feet. She had never felt more utterly disheartened and misguided.
Gone was her sense of direction.
Gone was her inspiration.
Gone was her motivation with which to carry on living her life.
All gone.
It was a chore just to remove her coat and scarf and make the short trek into the kitchen.
She was relieved to find Sophia had already left for the day, for she was definitely not in the mood nor the proper mindframe for interrogations and explanations. But when she found the note waiting for her on the table, she sucked in a sharp breath as her eyes scaled it over before she had the chance to turn away.
Hey sweetie! Since you didn’t come home last night, I'll assume you enjoyed yourself with that gorgeous HUNK of a hockey player who showed up at our door!!! OMG does he have the most stunning eyes or WHAT!? You're SO DEAD by the way for keeping him a secret all this time!!!! Can't wait to start double dating with you guys!!!! XOXO Soph
Ignoring the wrenching sensation in her heart, which very well could have been called pain if she chose to acknowledge it as such, Payton crumpled up the note in her fist and threw it into the garbage.
Double dating. Right.
If she even had any strength left within her to laugh, she would.
She made herself another cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.
An hour later, she glanced at the clock and realized she hadn't budged. Nor had she even touched her coffee. It now sat cold in her mug, the milk starting to congeal in clumps on the surface. Blinking dazedly, she stood up and emptied the liquid into the sink before making her way slowly into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
She kicked off her boots and clawed at her sweater, unable to pull it off fast enough, its woolen material suddenly wrecking havoc on her already irritated and raw skin. After lifting it over her head, she flung it across the room angrily but it simply bounced off the closet door and landed softly to the ground, without doing a whole lot of damage. Her hands were throbbing with the need to break something, destroy something—anything to negate the pain –and yes, she was finally able to admit it was pain-- which was so alarmingly consuming her now that she was alone again. But she wrung them together tightly and resisted the urge.
Collapsing down on the edge of her bed, she looked up at her reflection in the mirror across the room and balked in disgust. Her eyes were puffy, laden with dark, heavy shadows due to lack of sleep. Her lips were red and swollen to almost twice their size. The skin of her neck, chest and shoulders was rubbed raw, dotted with blotchy red spots which blended ironically well with her purple silk camisole.
She turned her head slightly to the side and there was the hickey, a constant presence amidst the rest of her souvenirs from last night.
The one that started the avalanche which had unraveled her life in a matter of hours.
It was ugly, tacky and so incriminating.
No wonder Chris had been appalled.
Because she couldn’t even bear the sight of herself right now.
Turning away from the mirror, she leaned over and opened the top drawer of the night table from which she pulled out a framed picture of her and Chris which had been taken during their weekend excursion in LA back in January.
Why does that feel like a lifetime ago?
They were sitting on the beach with a breathtakingly crimson sunset framing them on the horizon. Payton was leaning between Chris’ knees, his arms were wrapped snugly around her waist and his chin was resting on her shoulder as they smiled contently for the camera which had been perched on a nearby rock. Their blue eyes shined as brightly as the Pacific Ocean behind them, full of life and the promise of a future which was sprawled out in front of them for the taking.
She ran her finger lightly over the glass, tracing the contour of his cheek and jaw, dying to feel his skin beneath her touch again.
They were in love. And that picture proved it.
It hadn’t been just a farce or a mistake like he had said. Sure, they had both fallen a bit fast and hard and their timing couldn’t have been worse, but it had been meant to be regardless.
It had been real.
Their night in Buffalo when they had finally succumbed to their emotions which had been suppressed for so long had been real. The passion and sweet surrender between them had been real. Every word, every breath, every smile, every tender kiss he laid upon her body had been real.
So real that every ounce of her was literally aching for him now that he was gone.
Her anger and apathy from earlier that morning had been merely a defense mechanism in front of Sean’s mocking eyes. And she felt that protective shield slowly start to weaken now that she was alone in the privacy of her own bedroom. No matter how much of a distraction last night been, it had been just that--a distraction—nothing more than a superficial band-aid to merely cover the gaping hole in her heart which was still as deep and endless.
If only Chris had been more understanding last night.....
If only he had shown a bit more patience and allowed himself to see the bigger picture and realize she wasn’t the only one at fault.....
If only he had loved her enough to swallow his pride and want to fix things between them....
What hurt the most, more than anything else, was how he had dismissed her so casually, like he was doing nothing more than throwing out his nightly trash.
How could he?
Easy, the smug voice in her head answered confidently. The same way he had forsaken you in front of his teammates without so much as blinking an eye. You were never his top priority and you never would have been. Better you realized that as early in the relationship as you did before it was too late.
Payton ignored the voice, because the truth hurt like hell.
“What happened to us?” she whispered desperately, staring longingly down at the photo one last time for what seemed like an eternity before something inside her finally snapped and she hurled it with all her might at the mirror. Both glass surfaces shattered into shards, some which tinkered onto the rug, shimmering like fallen stars and dispelling all traces of the happiness which that photo had so magically captured.
She collapsed face-down onto her bed and let out a strangulated cry.
She cried and cried and cried, purging herself of every memory, every smile, every touch, every declaration of love.
She cried until she had nothing left.
Until she was just a hollow, broken shell of the woman she had once been.
And as an overwhelming tidal wave of sadness consumed her, she knew she would never be whole again.
|
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies.....its compromise that moves us along" ~~She Will Be Loved.....Maroon 5~~
"I started this season much to Simon's chagrin as the 'word nerd' and I am absolutely at a loss for words right now" ~~David Cook~~
"What am I--Kermit the Frog?" ~~Josh Groban~~ |
|
blondemd77
Tolkien
member is offline
"Lovely doctor!"
Joined: Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,658
Location: New York
| | Re: Fire and Ice (a hockey fanfic) *12/29/09*
« Reply #68 on Jan 5, 2010, 8:58am » | |
disclaimer and thank-yous at the end, guys
EPILOGUE (Four months later)
The Garden atmosphere was electric.
Game 6 of the Stanley Cup finals with a chance for the Rangers to clinch the series with one last win.
Four months ago, not even the most die-hard of fans would have ever believed their team would have come this far. But with a lot of hard work and discipline, the guys turned their season around in what was nothing short of a miracle and easily steamrolled over the top three teams in the Eastern Conference in each of the previous three playoff rounds to get to where they were tonight—one win away from defeating the Chicago Blackhawks, the best team in the NHL and the favorite to win the Cup.
It was a tied game going into the third period and Payton could barely contain the nervous ball of anticipation which was wrecking havoc in her stomach as she watched the antagonizingly slow minutes of intermission tick away on the scoreboard clock.
"Twenty minutes until victory!!" Sophia announced, twirling around in the luxury box on the roof of the Garden where she sat with Shane, Paul, Jenny and Payton.
The box was given to Payton and Shane for the duration of the playoffs, courtesy of the organization, as a thank you to both of them for all their hard work and dedication during their respective rotations. Payton wondered who exactly had arranged for such a wonderful gift. It could have been Jim, or any number of the guys, for different reasons.
But there was one person she knew without a doubt that it wasn’t.
For they hadn't spoken since the night he had thrown her out of his apartment four months ago.
And what a long four months it had been.
In the beginning, it had been a struggle just to hold herself together and get through the day, unable to find even the simplest sources of solace and comfort. Sophia was a constant reminder of what she had lost simply because she was still dating Scott. Hanging out with Shane and Paul was also quite detrimental to her well-being, for all Shane talked about tirelessly was the team, until his rotation finally came to an end in April. There was nowhere she could turn to inside herself, either, to escape the pain. No memory she could fondly think of without re-opening old wounds. Nowhere she could look without seeing or hearing or reading about him somehow.
Nothing dulled her sorrow.
Until little by little, smile by smile, joke by joke, and caress by caress, Sean patiently pulled her out of her dark abyss, dulling the sorrow at least to the point of numbness. Everything he did, he did unceasingly until he dissolved her. She was helpless in his presence, and he knew it. So day after day, night after night, she surrendered herself to him, who by turns, both voracious and tender, lavished not only her broken flesh but also her tattered soul with miracles she had never imagined possible from him.
The crater in her heart left over from Chris was still as wide and as deep, but with Sean’s help, she was learning to live with it, carrying it around courageously, simply as a cross she was meant to bear.
"HUSH!!!" Jenny shrieked, pummeling Sophia with kernels of popcorn and startling Payton back to reality. "You don’t speak of such things!
"Oh, all that superstition stuff is pure rubbish!" Sophia scolded back as she reached for her beer. "You're worse than Scottie! Whoever is gonna win is gonna win! Fate's already decided it! Nothing I say, nor how long those goofs grow out their beards will change that!"
"Amen sista!" Paul emphatically agreed, clinking his beer cup to hers. “The whole caveman motif has always grossed me out, personally. And like you said, it’s pretty pointless.”
“And it hurts like hell if you catch my drift,” Sophia added with a sultry smile full of mischief.
“Too much info!" Payton groaned, reaching over for a handful of Jenny’s popcorn to fire at Sophia.
“Just stating the obvious,” Sophia huffed, plopping back down in her seat with a laugh. “Unfortunately you can’t empathize with me because your pretty boy seems to shave before every game."
For a moment, Payton froze, assuming Sophia was talking about Chris, whom she had so shockingly noticed had not grown a playoff beard this year. He had been the most superstitious of all of them, so she couldn’t fathom the reason why he had changed his routine.
Whatever it was, it was obviously working, she thought, but then quickly scolded herself, just as fearful of a jinx as Jenny was.
But Sophia had been referring to Sean, of course.
And yes, Payton was quite grateful he spurned the age-old superstition of the playoff beard.
But she wasn’t about to admit that to anyone.
“No comment,” she muttered, sensing Jenny tense up beside her at the indirect mention of Sean.
“Fine. Be like that.” Sophia huffed, stuck out her tongue and spun the conversation in a completely opposite direction. "So where do you think the after-party is gonna be?"
Jenny slumped lower in her seat and covered her ears. "Holy shit, we're doomed."
“I really don't know,” Payton answered detachedly, unsure why Sophia would assume she, of all people, would have any idea. “I obviously haven't spoken to anyone. I’d assume Scottie would be all over it, simply because it’s an excuse to party, and therefore you’d be the one with the inside info, not me."
“He hasn’t mentioned anything! Him and his damn superstitions.” She shook her head of dark curls and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Would you go, though? If there was one?"
“I....hadn't thought about it."
Payton had only seen the guys once since her break with Chris. At a Garden of Dreams charity dinner auction in early April. She had gone as Sean's date and ended up not only incensing Chris, being the target of his stony looks all night, but also alienating Wade as well. She assumed his ego was having trouble understanding why she had chosen to have a casual affair with Sean as opposed to what could have been a meaningful one with him.
The truth was that she had thought alot about Wade during the initial stages of her breakup with Chris. He had always been there for her, throughout everything, his loyalty unfaltering. Yet she wasn’t ready to begin a new relationship so soon after being burned by her last one. She also couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him, which is what would have undoubtedly happened if she allowed him to grow close, simply because her heart just wouldn't have been in it.
And it was that same heart which would be unwilling to take such leaps for a very long time.
That's why what she had with Sean was easy and simple.
No expectations. No jealousy. No strings attached.
And no superfluous emotions weighing them down.
But of course Jenny didn’t see it that way. She disapproved of her casual, strictly physical relationship with him. Mostly because it was Sean and she still despised him just because he was Sean, but also because it was so out of character for her. Payton knew she had become hard and jaded and unemotional and pissed off at the world. But she had every right to be and if Jenny couldn't see that her trysts with Sean were actually therapeutic and a nice distraction from her troubles, then that was her problem.
"Hello?"
Payton felt Jenny nudging her shoulder and stared blankly over at her. "What?"
"You’re spacing out."
"I'm focused."
"The period hasn't even started yet."
As if on cue, the lights in the arena dimmed and multiple team insignias appeared on the newly zambonied ice, rotating back and forth as dramatic music began blaring through the speakers. "It's about to," Payton said plainly.
"Can I ask you something?" Sophia and the guys had left to get another round of drinks at the concession stand and Jenny decided to take advantage of their few minutes of privacy.
Payton scowled playfully. "Now isn't the time for friendly heart-to-hearts."
"No, but it's been bugging me for awhile and since I haven’t seen much of you lately....I just want to get it out there.”
“What?" Payton asked, finally tearing her eyes from the ice and regarding Jenny impatiently.
"Are you falling for Sean?"
Payton was too shocked by the question to show any emotion. "You're joking, right?" she asked in the most deadpan of voices.
"I'm not. I mean, I know you had originally said it was a convenience thing, but I don’t know.....it seems like it has become so much more....."
"How?"
"You're always with him! The paparazzi have had a field day with all the photo opportunities you've given them. Especially the ones from Fashion Week back in May—the two of you sitting all cozy together by the runway. What the heck was that?”
Payton remembered vividly how Sean had held her snug against him for the entire time, and how occasionally they would lean over and speak to each other in hushed voices, admiring with awe or cracking jokes at various styles of clothing. And of course, the paparazzi had conveniently captured many of those moments perfectly.
“Um..that was us watching a fashion show? It’s what people do when they go to one of those events! But cozy? Please! Don’t ever use that word in the same sentence as Sean again.”
Jenny crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to be easily swayed. “I know cozy and that was definitely it.”
Payton let out a sigh of annoyance when she realized this was one argument she was definitely not going to win. "Am I not allowed to go out, now? Is that what you’re getting at?"
Jenny gaped at her. "Of course you are! And I’m all FOR you getting back on the horse and putting yourself out there again!!! But I just don’t understand why it has to be with HIM!"
"Jen, he's not that bad! He’s really gotten his act together in case you hadn't noticed. He's playing hard out there without any of his usual shenanigans. He might even be named MVP if they win this Cup! And he's doing decent things off the ice as well. Since he loves fashion so much, he’s considering applying for an internship at Vogue during the off-season and possibly starting his own clothing line eventually. He also wants to open a restaurant downtown.”
“Listen to you.”
“What?”
“You’re gushing.”
“I’m being objective and just stating the truth!” Payton quickly looked away once she felt the hint of a blush creep up her cheeks.
The one thing she did keep to herself was the night she had shown up at Sean’s apartment after he and Brandon had spent the day with underprivileged kids at Dylan’s Candy Bar in Manhattan as one of the team’s annual charity events. When he opened the door with half his face painted in an intricate Spiderman design around his left cheek and eye, she felt something stir inside her for the very first time. Maybe it was admiration, or simply a newfound sense of respect, perhaps. But just the thought of him interacting with those children chipped away a piece of her hardened heart and she began to see him in a brand new light.
But falling for him?
No.
She wasn’t falling for anyone anytime soon.
She was smarter than that.
“So how many other women is he sleeping with besides you?”
Payton glared at Jenny, annoyed she would even ask such a question. “I don’t ask and he doesn’t tell. I’m with him just about every night when they aren’t traveling, so whatever he’s doing, it’s when he’s on the road.”
“And that doesn’t bother you?”
“I’m not stupid, Jen. I’m being safe.”
“I don’t mean physically. Of course you’re being safe. You’re a doctor. I meant emotionally.”
Payton pursed her lips and refocused her gaze onto the ice where the players had re-emerged from the locker room and were doing a few warm-up laps. Sure, there were some nights, especially more recently as of late, where she sat home alone when the team was traveling and found her mind couldn’t help but wander, wondering where Sean was at that moment and who he was with. “It doesn’t bother me,” she said quietly.
Jenny wasn’t convinced. She could read Payton like an open book and the way her blue eyes clouded over at the question was enough proof to incriminate her. But she decided not to push the issue. Whatever emotions she was dealing with, she obviously wanted to sort them out on her own. “Ok. Just checking. But please remember I’m always here for you if you ever want to talk.”
“I know, Jen. Thanks.”
Shane came bounding back into the box followed by Paul and Sophia, their arms full of beer and snacks. “Alright.....time to place some bets!!!! Who’s gonna score the winning goal?”
“Scottie, of course,” Sophia chirped up as she handed a beer to Payton.
“I say Markus,” Paul offered.
“Brandon,” Shane said confidently.
“No way!” Jenny argued. “It’s definitely going to be Ryan.”
“Payton?”
They all looked at her expectantly, waiting for her answer.
Knowing Chris’ propensity for scoring huge goals in high-pressure situations, the odds were definitely with him. But she couldn’t bring herself to say his name aloud, for fear she would break down right then and there in front of everyone. Smiling faintly and remembering an old friend whom she hadn’t seen or spoken with in months, she said quietly, “It’s going to be Nik---with his brand new ankle which I healed.”
“I healed him,” Shane corrected her, nudging her shoulder playfully.
Payton rolled her eyes with a huff. “You’re so full of it. The hard part was done by the time you got to him. I poured my blood, sweat and tears into getting him to that point.”
“Gee. I see someone isn’t lacking for modesty.”
Payton nudged him back. “Just shut up and watch the game.”
With a laugh, they all settled back down, as settled as they could get, perched on the edge of their seats in anticipation.
The third period started out slow, as both teams were playing a very conservative game of defense, afraid to take chances and give up dangerous odd-man rushes. Shots on goal were limited and it started to resemble more of a chess match than the fast-paced, action-packed game it should have been. The Garden grew as silent as a tomb as the minutes ticked away without anything to show for them, and every fan waited on pins and needles to see who was going to make the first mistake.
“LET’S GO RANGERS!!!”
“LET’S GO RANGERS!!!”
One rowdy fan attempted to fire things up with the usual supportive chants, but just when the Garden seemed to awaken with life and join in, Colton took a hooking penalty in the defensive zone, immediately sucking the life out of the crowd once again.
Shane and Paul began grumbling about the reasoning John had for putting Colton, a ‘talentless’ fourth-line winger, out on the ice in such a controlled game.
“He needs to rotate the lines to give the rest of the guys a bit of a breather”, Payton muttered as she glanced nervously at the clock on the scoreboard and began anxiously gnawing on her lower lip.
Seven minutes left.
It was imperative they killed off this penalty.
“When they’re making 7 million a year like Dru, there’s no such thing as a breather,” Shane shot back impatiently. “He needs to suck it up and deal with it. This game is too fucking important to have scrubs like Orr ruin our chances.”
Payton was too distracted to flinch at the mention of Chris’ name nor to waste any energy arguing with Shane. She just waved a hand dismissively to shoo him off and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as her eyes remained glued to the puck.
The penalty kill was aggressive and didn’t even allow Chicago’s Power Play unit to set up in the offensive zone until over a minute into it. The puck slid back and forth between the two point men and the wingers on the boards, but all shooting lanes were efficiently blocked. When the puck returned back out to one of Chicago’s men at the blue line, Nik intercepted the pass, stole the puck and exploded down the ice in a burst of superhuman speed. Chicago’s defenseman tried in vain to catch up to him, diving with his stick in an attempt to knock the puck away, but Nik swerved out of its path and approached the goalie head-on.
The whole Garden rose to its feet in anticipation of the breakaway.
Payton clutched her fist to her chest and stopped breathing.
Come on Nik. Sink that puck. Top shelf like always.
With two nifty dekes, Nik trapped the goalie down low and lifted the puck over his shoulder. It sailed in a beautiful arc right into the net. The red goal light illuminated brightly, and the noise level in the arena reached a deafening caliber.
With less than six minutes to go, her boys had taken the lead.
Her boys.
She still thought of them that way. And realized she probably always would.
Sophia and Jenny were screeching like banshees, hugging each other and dancing around, while Shane and Paul were leaning over to emphatically high-five the guys in the next box over. But Payton just stood there silently, beaming with pride for Nik as she watched his teammates assault him with congratulatory hugs and slaps once he returned to the bench.
The last five minutes of the game felt like an eternity, especially when Chicago abandoned their conservative game and began a rapid-fire assault on Henrik, shooting at every angle possible in sheer desperation to find that tying goal. With less than a minute left, they pulled their goalie to put an extra skater on the ice, and the tension in the arena grew so thick that Payton thought she would suffocate. There were a few close calls--one shot hit the post and the resonating loud 'ping' which resulted was sweet music to every Rangers fan's ears, and another shot which slid horizontally through the goal crease without miraculously crossing the line. With less than fifteen seconds left, Chris regained control of the puck and sent it sailing down the opposite end of the ice, where he buried the empty netter to seal the game.
"OMIGOD WE WON!!!!" Jenny shrieked and nearly toppled Payton over in a frantic embrace. "WE WON!! WE WON!!! WE WON!!!"
Payton hugged her back and wasn't surprised when the tears began streaming down her face. She had waited over fifteen years to experience this moment as a fan, but now that some of those guys down there were her friends, the victory took on a much more personal meaning.
And it was twice as sweet.
The last face-off down in the Chicago zone was nothing more than a formality, and Chris didn't even bother attempting to win it. He just stood there while the Chicago center won the puck back to one of his forwards who slapped it down the ice in frustration just as the buzzer sounded.
Sticks, gloves and helmets were thrown into the air as the entire team, coaches and staff, all rushed the ice in celebration. Red, white and blue confetti rained down from the roof of the Garden as the 18,000 fans in attendance proudly serenaded their team with deafening cheers, chants and never-ending applause.
The atmosphere was like something out of a dream, and Payton just stood there, taking it all in. Time seemed to stand still, and it could have been seconds or minutes or even a half-hour later when she was finally broken out of her magical reverie.
“Dr Campbell? Dr. Westcott?”
Both Payton and Shane turned in surprise at the sound of their names. A Garden employee wearing a navy suit and badge stood in the doorway of the suite. Holding out an arm in invitation, he said, “Your presence has been requested for the locker room celebration. I’d like to get you down there without a hitch before the crowds start pouring out. So if you’d be so kind as to follow me?”
“Yeah, baby! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!!!” Shane clapped his hands excitedly and bounced his way over to the door but Payton paused, looking at Sophia and Jenny with regret. As if reading her mind, the man added, “Your friends are welcome, too, of course.”
“YES!!” Jenny pumped her fist in the air and linked arms with Sophia as they skipped out of the suite and down the hall to the elevator after the guys, leaving Payton alone in the suite. She hadn’t been expecting this sudden curveball. She hadn’t even wanted to attend the after-party for fear of running into Chris. But now, in the close quarters of the locker room, she was bound to do just that.
The man watched her curiously, confused by her hesitation. “Is everything okay, Doc?”
“Fine.” Payton forced a wistful smile and waved her hand across the ice. “Just....trying to soak in the moment.”
“It’s marvelous isn’t it?” he agreed with a smile of his own.
“It really is.”
She turned back for one last look just as the NHL commissioner in his white gloves was handing the Cup over to Chris. The applause grew louder as the Captain brought it to his lips, kissed it and then hoisted it over his head as if it was weightless. The smile on his face was one of pure ecstasy, mirroring those of his teammates who surrounded him, each eagerly waiting to have their turn with the coveted trophy.
Congratulations, Cap. You did it.
Payton blinked back her tears and, with a heavy heart, turned away and followed her friends out of the suite.
**************************
Chris led the team down the hallway to the locker room carrying the cup on his shoulders. The Garden staff all congratulated him with pats on the back as he passed, and he was met with a fierce spray of champagne upon entering the room from Jim on one side and Jason, one of the team’s equipment managers, on the other. As if the celebration out on the ice hadn’t been enough, another one began right there in the locker room as all the guys shed their jerseys and equipment for their champion T-shirts. The Cup was then passed around again from player to player, filled with an endless supply of champagne for the taking.
In the midst of all the confusion, camera flashes and news reporters, Chris did a double-take as he spotted Payton in the corner of the room. Ironically, she had been the first thought to cross his mind as he had hoisted the coveted Cup immediately following the game. He had wondered if she was out there, somewhere, watching, and he hoped she was celebrating, knowing how long she had waited for and dreamed about this moment.
But seeing her there in the locker room meant she had obviously been in the Garden the entire night, which suddenly explained the calming presence he had sensed from the moment he first stepped out onto the ice, through the entire 60 minutes of nail-biting play.
He had felt her all around him.
She was standing with Sophia, Scott and another girl he didn’t recognize. His breath caught in his throat and for a second, time seemed to stand still as he heard and saw nothing around him and the boisterous background faded away. It had been over two months since he had last seen her at the charity dinner, a night which he couldn’t erase from his mind no matter how hard he tried. He still remembered the way she had looked standing by Sean’s side—harder, with a different sort of edge to her--and he almost hadn’t recognized her at first. Gone had been the light from her eyes, gone was the brilliant smile which brightened her face and gone was the sweet melody of her laughter which had the ability to illuminate even the darkest of days.
And it was at that moment when he had finally understood what Sean had meant the day he accused him of ‘ruining’ her.
It had been a bitter pill to swallow, seeing them together that night, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he, alone, had been the driving force which had pushed her right into Sean’s arms.
Now, two months later, his heart grew a bit lighter as he watched her laugh with her friends. Her smile had returned as well as some of the passion behind those familiar blue eyes. However, despite what she was portraying on the outside, he realized sadly that the homey, girl-next-door innocence he had once loved so much about her was gone forever.
Loved.
Yes, he had loved her.
And if he was being honest with himself, his life just hadn't been the same without her.
But he had forced himself to move on and focused all his time and energy on his game instead, and as a result, had finally emerged triumphant. Yet as he stared around at the merry reveling surrounding him, he felt ironically empty in a way.
He had won the most coveted trophy in all of professional sports, so why wasn't he rejoicing with his teammates?
He got his answer when he saw Sean embrace Payton from behind, taking all sorts of liberties with his hands. She spun around in his arms, her sweet laughter rising up above the noise, and allowed him to devour her mouth in one hell of a celebration kiss. The look in Sean's eyes startled him, because it mirrored the way he, himself, used to affectionately gaze at Payton. He'd know that look anywhere, yet it was so stunningly out of character coming from Sean that he had to do a double take just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
But sure enough, Sean's eyes were warm and full of adoration, possessiveness and.... tenderness, and Payton appeared comfortably content there in his arms.
And like hot air leaking from a punctured balloon, Chris’ superficial high was quickly deflated.
Winning isn’t everything, he thought sadly to himself in that moment as he realized just what he had lost and at what high a price it had come.
*******************************
The locker room celebration was a zoo, but Payton was glad she decided to brave it, realizing she couldn’t have missed it for the world. All the guys were already drunk on champagne, wearing their champion T-shirts and hats and she bounced around congratulating them all in between their interviews with the press. Henrik and Steve cornered her at one point, inviting her to drink out of the Cup, a moment which she would never, ever forget as long as she lived.
Nik was named MVP, of course, so it was tough finding a moment when he wasn’t bombarded by reporters or photographers. At one point, just as he finished an interview and a new reporter was about to move in for the kill, he spotted Payton over the crowd and his mouth dropped open in awe before transforming into the giddiest smile Payton had ever seen. He brusquely pushed past the reporter and met Payton halfway across the room, scooping her up and spinning her around. “I can’t believe you’re here!”
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!! Congratulations, Nik!!”
“WE WON THE STANLEY CUP!!!”
“I know!!!” she said, laughing at his childlike enthusiasm as she embraced him tightly.
“I feel like I’m dreaming! This is all so incredible! I never thought it would feel this amazing!”
“Now who’s glowing like a pine tree?” she asked affectionately, pulling back to look at him. His brown eyes were shining, already glazed over from a mix of all the alcohol he had consumed as well as sheer intoxication from his new celebrity status.
“Am I really glowing?”
“So bright I need sunglasses,” she teased, pretending to squint.
“I owe you everything,” he said, growing serious. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“You owe me nothing. That goal was the best gift EVER. So consider us squared away.”
“Squared away?” he frowned, not understanding the jargon.
“We’re even.”
“Oh. Okay. I get it.” He smiled and was about to say something else when someone grabbed his arm and whisked him off for another interview. “We’ll talk later!!” he called back over his shoulder, and Payton winked, waving him off, before getting caught up in the whirlwind of celebration yet again when Colton appeared by her side with the Cup, forcing her to have another drink.
In the midst of everything, she did her best to avoid Chris, well-aware that he was just as diligently doing his best to avoid her at the same time. There was nothing she could possibly say to him, for she knew even the most neutral of ‘congratulations’ would somehow give her away and alert him to all the pain and regret she was still harboring deep within her.
And now certainly wasn’t the time for any of that, because this was one parade that didn’t deserve to be rained on.
Therefore, it was better for both of them if they didn’t interact at all.
At one point, however, as she was embracing Freddie, her gaze accidentally landed on Chris and their eyes met and locked through the chaos. For the briefest of moments, she thought she saw something in his expression--a softening like he was about to smile, but then as quickly as it had come, it was gone, as Ryan captured him from behind in a head lock, shoving more champagne down his throat. Smiling wistfully to herself, Payton watched their unadulterated bliss, sincerely happy that Chris had finally gotten his moment. All his hard work had paid off and no one deserved it more than him.
Her heart, which she had long thought to be devoid of any and all emotion, came to life and unexpectedly began to swell with an unselfish sense of pride for him. And her arms suddenly ached with a fierce, inexplicable need to hold him again. Just the fact that he was in the same room as her, only a few feet away, was suddenly almost too much to bear.
With a congratulatory smack on his behind, she sent Freddie on his merry way and rejoined Sophia and Jenny in the corner where they were standing with Scottie and doing their best to avoid the limelight. Scottie cracked one of his usual jokes which made everyone laugh and Payton joined in, forcing a smile as she struggled to get Chris off her mind, especially now that certain suppressed emotions were dangerously rising to the surface again.
She had just about convinced herself to escape the locker room and take a much needed breather when she felt two strong arms twine around her waist from behind and lips touch down softly on the side of her neck, coming to her rescue once again as they had so often done innumerable times over the past four months.
"I don’t care who sees us. I can’t keep you a secret any longer," Sean murmured as he spun her around and took her into his arms, kissing her deeply. What he really wanted to say was I think I'm falling in love with you, but figured she'd probably chalk it up to his adrenaline rush and dismiss it with a sarcastic shrug, annoyed he had broken one of her precious ‘rules’.
Besides, there was a time and a place for all that, and they had all the time in the world.
"Congratulations, Avery." Payton linked her arms around his neck and smiled up at him, eyes shining proudly. "You guys did it." Standing on her tiptoes, she brushed her lips over his softly at first and then attacked them with a fierceness of emotion, which surprised herself even more than it surprised him. He tasted of peppermint gum and she was both relieved and proud that there were no traces of alcohol on his breath, despite the obscene amount of temptation surrounding him. Snaking her arms around his neck, she allowed him to pull her even closer, ignoring the dampness of his shirt and skin which was the result of an un-alluring mixture of champagne and sweat.
Unexpectedly, over the past few months, he had become her anchor, her pillar of strength, her saving grace.
And he had single-handedly brought her back to life.
As camera flashes exploded around them and they were serenaded with provocative whistles and catcalls from the team, Payton surprised herself by throwing her head back and laughing as she soaked in the moment.
Life goes on, she realized bittersweetly.
And fate just sits back and laughs while you try to make plans.
THE END
Once again, a huge thank you to those of you who have stuck with this fic from the very beginning, even if you didn't know much about hockey or my Rangers. Thank you for embracing the characters, both fictional and real, and for sticking with the story through its ups and downs. As evident from the epilogue, I opted out of the 'fairy-tale' ending for a number of reasons:
1. 2009 had been a very challenging year for me personally, and i saw my biggest dream shattered over the summer. My heart was broken and i became quite jaded as a result, therefore finding it hard to still believe in miracles and happily ever afters. LIfe just doesn't make sense sometimes....
2. on a lighter note, i developed a growing respect for Sean since the start of this season. Everyting i wrote about in the epilogue was true--he's become a much more solid player on the ice, has abandoned his shenanigans both on and off the ice, did the whole Vogue thing, started his own clothes line and restuarant, AND painted his face the day he hung out with the kids in the candy store. So, even though he's still not my favorite person in the whole world, im slowly developing a new sense of respect for him and wanted to give him props and somewhat redeem his character in this story. i figured it was only fair to do so....
3. as for Chris, yes i still love him desperately, but he's had such a disappointing year so far that its tough standing by him when everyone else is bashing him. therefore, i wasnt as inspired as i should have been to have him emerge victorious in this story....(shrugs guiltily) 
im sad to see this story end, but since there are still 4 more months of hockey left to the season, i REALLY want to keep on writing about these characters. so without giving anything away, if you happen to get bored, maybe check back in here every so often and you may magically find a sequel waiting in the wings........
Happy New Year to all of you, and hopefully 2010 will have good things in store for all of us!
|
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies.....its compromise that moves us along" ~~She Will Be Loved.....Maroon 5~~
"I started this season much to Simon's chagrin as the 'word nerd' and I am absolutely at a loss for words right now" ~~David Cook~~
"What am I--Kermit the Frog?" ~~Josh Groban~~ |
| |
|
![[Home]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/home.gif)
![[Help]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/help.gif)
![[Search]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/search.gif)
![[Login]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/login.gif)
![[Register]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/menu/register.gif)
![[Search This Thread]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/search2.gif)
![[Send Topic To Friend]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/buttons/sendtopic.gif)
![[Print]](http://s4.images.proboards.com/buttons/print.gif)
Logged